Am I wrong if I feel betrayed, hurt and upset?
My husband and I got married in 2010. At the time we got married, I hid the fact that I still have 3 credits left for my Bachelor's, which I deeply regret now because what I did was despicable because you don't start a relationship based on a lie. I learned it the hard way and I've apologized to him profusely ever since but he continues to hold a grudge against me, which is comprehensible. I most likely will hold a grudge too if I were in his position.
How he found out is a completely different story. He has a first cousin, though she and I did not have a relationship prior to my marriage, she has always known my family and she was actually the one who introduced me to my husband. Ever since I moved to San Francisco we formed a bond. She refers to me as her sister, and I admired her as a person. I'd speak to her if I needed someone to talk to and I'm always there for her if she needs me. She asks me to move in to her place for an entire week to take care of her kid because she couldn't find a nanny, I don't even bat an eyelash, during her birthday party I babysat her one year old the entire time because he was cranky, and I was more than happy to help. I post her pictures on my Facebook raving about how beautiful she is, and every time I baked a cake for her family I'd put the extra effort to bake a sugar free cake for her husband because he is diabetic.
I honestly believed that we had a bond, and at this point I can't help but feel betrayed when my husband told me that she was actually the one who helped him dig up the information about me. My husband confronted me first with this issue and I always put it off by saying that I needed time to show him my diploma. Apparently they were talking on the phone. My husband was complaining & talking about how he has his suspicions. She agreed and said she has similar doubts. Then she provides him with a website, tells him to visit the site and pay a fee to find out the information about my diploma. They sent him an email but the email was too vague. She apparently urged him that to give her my social security so she take the matter in her hands and dig deeper. He gives her my info and the next day she calls him up saying exactly this-- I have bad news.
I feel completely betrayed. I just wish that she had consulted with me before she asked my husband for my social. She'd still be the role model that she once was to me. I believe that she should've sat down and talked to me about this as opposed to what she did on my back without my knowledge. My husband though thinks what she did is not as bad as I'm making it out to be.
I want to know if he's right. I'm not mad at my husband because I believe he has the right to do what he did. But am I wrong if I feel betrayed, hurt and upset by what she did?