I'm a 43 year old married man. My wife is 43, also. We have been together since our junior year in high school and married for 14. We have 3 magnificent children (2 boys and a girl). Like so many others, our marriage looks very solid from the outside. My wife and I have a grand home and we both have good jobs. We have no money problems to speak of. For the most part, we get along well. We seldom argue. The issue is intimacy, or actually the lack of. In the past 5 years, we have been intimate on average, about twice a month.
Throughout the past 5 years, I have always tried to show my wife that I love her. I ask her to do things together as a family or a couple if we can find a sitter. I still try and show her the little things like telling her I love her, compliment her, and dote on her. I do my share of things around the house...maintenance, yard work, Laundry, dishes, and some cooking. I get the up for school and get them dressed. I try and support her in every way I can. I talk to her about her day at work. I try to be the husband that most women would want.
My wife just doesn't show affection the way she did when we first wed. And I don't mean just sex. I would love to have her compliment me on a job well done or ask my opinion of something she's contemplating. I know she loves me. She does things in general that shows me she cares. But, the lack of at least the little affectionate things driving me to loneliness. I need her to fire back her opinion. I want her to try to be, not involved, but supportive in my interests as I am in hers. Most of the time, when I ask her opinion of something, the answer more or less revolves around, "I don't care".
"Honey, what do you think of the improvement I've done on the house?"...."eh, it's alright."
She throws her nose up at any of my personal interests or hobbies. The least she could do is lie and tell be, "how nice" or "how interesting" something is. I compliment hr on her scrap booking and other decorative things she does to the house....and sometimes I couldn't possibly care less. But, I don't ever show disinterest any any of her personal accomplishments
I've tried to talk about it, but she usually just sits there as if to listen. She usually just drifts off to sleep as we lay in bed and I babble on. At least, that's how she makes me feel. It seems we've both accepted this in our marriage. It makes me feel lonely. We have conversations to convey information or something she wants to talk about, but we never seem to discuss our our goals and beliefs anymore. I have gotten to the point where I need to do something. I have never considered leaving my marriage, as our children don't deserve a lifestyle like that. Nor have i considered an affair. However, it seems talking to female friends on facebook and email conversations does provide somewhat of an outlet.
Most women tell me, they wish they had a husband like me.
I'm 43 and I feel that if I don't do something now, it will be too late in my life to enjoy something as simple as discussion of opinionated topics, intimate conversation or flirting and pillow talk. I just want to share myself with her and she with me in the way we haven't in a long time.
I really would like to just talk to someone who would expression themself to me about me, themself, and ourselves.
Are there any men out there in the same situation I am?
Are there any women out there who may have the answer to getting my wife off her tucas and back into the ever moving and inactive stream of life?