Am I in an Abusive Relationship, Please Help!!
Ok, I don't know how to start this, I have never done this before but here it goes.
I am 25 years old and a mother of two children one who is 4 and one who is 7 months; I married my high school sweetheart at the age of 18 and have been married to him for almost seven years. He is a military man and he has sexually, physically and mentally abused me and I just need to know if what I am going through is very serious and if I need to get out. I want to get out of this relationship but, I am a stay at home mom I do go to school online which he does not support me doing because he never watches the kids for me so that I can study. Our first base was in the beginning of our marriage was far away from my family. When we got there I was cooped up in a hotel room with one car for him to go to work in. I shortly got a job on base and every time I came home from work he would be on his computer playing games all evening until he went to sleep. He has been playing games ever since, we would argue and fight at least every other day the first year of our marriage. There was not a lot of physical abuse at this time more verbal than anything. After a year in our marriage I found out I was pregnant with our first child, I had quit my previous job before I found out that I was pregnant and had plans on working again but, I knew that I could not find a job with my belly showing. I stayed at home and he took the car to work our one car, so I was left with no car always, he never wanted to spend time with me. One of my friends wanted to come over with her husband one day and I told my husband about it and he still brought home beer, oh yea he drank at least three times a week and would get drunk during the first and second year of our marriage. When he brought beer home I got mad because I knew he would make a fool of himself in front of our company. We got into a heated argument and he said something awful about our unborn child and I slapped him so he cut me on the wrist with the butter knife he was using to make his sandwich. I quickly called my mother because I did not know what to do and she was telling me well you hit him and both of you need to calm down. As I was talking to my mom on the phone he said something and ran up and smacked me right across the head while I was on the phone with my mother, it knocked the breath out of me and I called the cops on him because my mother said if I didn’t she would. After that incident we went to marriage counseling and anger management together. Once my son was born he left my in the hospital for three days and only came to see me and my son for about 45 minutes in the three days. I had no one come visit me; it was just me and my son. When my son was two weeks old I heard my husband yell at him telling him to SHUT UP and I quickly ran down stairs and grabbed my son and took care of him. For the first year of my sons life he kept me there in the house drinking a lot of alcohol on a daily basis, he would stay upstairs after he came home and play his computer games while I cooked and clean and cared for my son by myself. During these times we would get into heated argument when my son would go to sleep, so bad that I would turn off his computer while he was playing on it and he would grab anything near him and throw it at me. One time I was almost a sleep and he threw a screw driver right by my head it hit the wall, he was really drunk that night. This is not the only thing he has thrown at me, he has thrown a picture frame, candle, and iron, deodorant stick that hit my head and made me bleed. There are so many things that he has done I could write a novel on his abuse. The most recent event was when he came home from work and slept on the couch, our four year old went up to his father that was sleeping and tried to give him a kiss and this is when my husband hit our child in his back, he fell to the ground. He was crying and he came to me saying that daddy doesn’t like me anymore. This hurt me and made me realize that he is getting worse instead of getting better. My husband’s routine is usually to work, stay up and play video games or sleep all evening until he has to go to work again and on the weekends he usually leaves us here with no car to party with his friends. Once I had my second child it seemed like the verbal and sexual abuse got worse. He constantly tells my child that “I am sorry mommy doesn’t like you watching this when my child wants to watch a pg-13 movie or show”. He constantly downgrades me in front of our four year old and he tells me to shut up, he has even told my child that mommy just need to go to hell. I am with the children day in and day out 24/7 and have no car to go anywhere, but he gets to leave all the time and choose when he wants to be a parent. He knows that I am the responsible one that will never neglect my children this is why he walks all over me I think. There was another incident before my sisters graduation, he asked me please with you help me, which meant will you give me a hand job, every two minutes all day and night. Because I kept telling him no and ignoring him he threatened me that if I did not give him a hand job that he would go into our three month old child’s room to wake her up. I thought that he was bluffing until he actually opened her door and almost went in, that night I did it for him crying, I cry every two days a week when I have to do it for him and he does not care if I cry while giving him a hand job, he will harass me all day and night until he gets his hand job. I could go on and on about everything that I have been through the last seven years, it has been hell and I have had no support to leave him from my family. My mom just keeps telling me that there is no way that I could support my children financially on my own and I am getting my associates degree in healthcare administration to prove her wrong. I would really like to know if this is considered abuse and if my children are endanger, I believe they are but don’t know what to do about it but to prepare to leave him. Thank you for any advice I appreciate this and for listening to my troubled life.