husband or ex-husband

anderson253September 25, 2006

I have been married to my new husband for 3 years, weve been together for 5, we have a 3 year old son together, but I cant stop loving or thinking about my ex we have a 9 year old son, we were together for 7 years,and then he left me, my ex says he will never re marry, I compare my husband to my ex all the time, and I shouldnt, but its like my ex was perfect, hes been trying to get me back the whole time even before I remarried, i love them both, but the love that I have for my ex, I will never have for my new husband, my husband is hateful sometimes, he has did things and said things to me my ex had never said or done, he dont trust me at all he says he does but he dont trust everyone else, I have never cheated on him, hes controlling, my ex was never that way, I felt loved and trusted from my ex, please help, any ideas what I should do??

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yborgal

Leaving you after 7 years doesn't sound like "he's perfect" to me.
Why did he leave? And if he was trying to get you back before you married, what kept you from going back?

    Bookmark   September 25, 2006 at 9:57AM
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carla35

The fact that he's your "X" should mean something. And quite honestly, sounds like maybe your current husband's lack of trust issue with you is somewhat legitimate.

Maybe your new husband is a controlling, very abusive man. But, your relationship needs to be examined without your "X" being figured into the picture.

    Bookmark   September 25, 2006 at 10:58AM
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sweeby

Sounds to me like you're wanting someone to tell you that you should follow your heart back to your Ex, and that true love and personal happiness is what life is really all about.

Don't look to me for that.

You're married and you have a child together. And a marriage takes committment, trust and hard work, not one eye on the escape hatch and a wistful "what if". So long as you're wondering about your Ex, you're not really working on your marriage, and it sounds like your marriage could use some work. Try working on your marriage. Try being the person your husband should trust, and should treat with kindness and respect. Try communicating with him about what you want and need in a marriage, and try asking him and giving him what he wants and needs.

If none of that works and you can honestly say that you tried with 100% committment for several years -- then you can consider walking away with a clear conscience.

    Bookmark   September 25, 2006 at 12:47PM
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marge727

If you told your ex you were ready to go back and were packing, he would leave skidmarks all the way to Canada. He's playing with you; some guys don't want a woman until somebody else has got her.

    Bookmark   September 29, 2006 at 2:08AM
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