One way marriage.
A rant and a plea for options
My wife and I have been married for 9 months now, after 12 years of being together. We have 3 kids, a home and a stable life. Two weeks ago, after a few glasses of wine, she confessed there was someone at work she was very attracted to. She is not sure if she loves him or not but worse, she is not sure if she loves me anymore. She met this guy at work 6 months ago and swears there is nothing going on nor has anything ever happened between them, in fact, she says that he has no idea of how she feels for him. Most of my marriage has been a lie.
She says she will try find her way back to me, but keeps looking at pictures of him on facebook. I believe she is emotionally cheating on me and know its wrong to spy on her pc history but I have to know. She has said she has stopped looking at him, but I know she still does. I am so confused, hurt and have an overwhelming fear of being alone. You see, I am a love immigrant to a foreign country where I have very few friends and none I can confide in as with my friends back home. This makes my situation worse as being alone in a different country is terrifying. I can't leave this country because of my kids. I am trapped. I have thought it would be better to just end it all, but I can't seem to bring myself around to it because of the three kids. It's a horrible situation I have got myself into and have wound up hating myself because of it.
I still love her, but I fear the longer I go in a marriage where there is only one way love, I will build up a wall and if she decides to stay with me the wall will be up and the damage irreversible. Worse, I will wind up resenting her and the kids for trapping me here. What should I do????