I finally got a welder
I got a welder, albeit a small welder.
I got it from ebay for $5 + shipping.
I had to put a plug on the power cord,
and I had to get an electrode clamp for it.
I also got gloves, rods, and an autodarkening helmet.
Today I tested it out. It works just fine.
I used a 1/16 rod on 35 amps and welded a bead across a piece of steel.
It was easier to do than I thought it would be.
Now I just gotta set up an area for welding and find a project.