Am I too old fashion? I am 50 and my wife is 43 and we have two boys 20 and 15. We are all active in our church (my sons are or were altar boys and presidents of our church youth group and I am on the parish council). At a recent BBQ at our home an invited guest of my wife (a single 41 yr old man) arrived and found my two sons and a friend of my 20 year old (also 20 and active in his church) playing Monopoly. The adults were outside on the patio but this 41 year old man sat down at the table with the children. After approx. 30min there with the kids I was walking by them and overheard the single man telling a joke that began (I apologize for this use of language) "A boy had hidden his S&M and Bondage magazine under his bed and his mom found it". I was stunned when I heard this but not surprised because of this mans past displays of vulgarity (of which I had complained in the past). I did not respond at that time (wanting to consider how to handle this) but moments later I ask my 15 year old son if he knew what S&M was and he said he did not. I then spoke to my wife and ask her to tell her friend not to say vulgar things to our children. She agreed and promptly spoke to him about this. Not only, did he not apologize he stated that there was nothing wrong with that joke and I was out of line to complain. My wife now agrees with this 41 year old single man and wants me to apologize to him. This man is coming between me and my wife over many moral issues. She chooses or sides with him over many issues and accuses me of only being jealous of him. I am now second guessing myself and my principles and would like any input on this. Thank you for listening and any direction you may give me and my family.