My husband stop having sex with me 5yrs ago

NOCOMPANIONAugust 27, 2013

I'm really trying to find a answer to what's going on with my husband. We haven't had sex since March 2008 and sleep in separate rooms just as long. He doesn't talk to me much, or kiss me. We don't fight or argue we even go out of different doors to our home. I ask him does he loves me and he says yes, but he's tired and don't feel like talking. He's not gay so i don't know what's the problem. Once I called his phone and this woman answered and told me she was his friend and I said don't you know he's married she said yes He talks about me all the time. I was outdone. This been sexless marriage been going on since I was 35yrs. old. I'm not trying to brag or anything but I'm very attractive and shaped very nicely. I can walk around naked all day and he still want touch me. He'll tell me, when I get home we are going to have sex, but when he get's home he goes into the other room and sleep. All I want is for him to kiss me, hold my hand, cuddle, take me to the show, watch t.v with me, do something ..... This is so strange, because my brother told me even if the husband is not attracted to me any longer, he would still have sex. Even if a man is cheating he still has sex. I want to give up this marriage but I love him so much to now I have ulcers.

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suzieque

What did your husband say about the woman who answered his phone? And what reason could she possibly have had for answering his phone? Where was he when she answered it? What do you mean you were "outdone"?

5 years - it's been 5 years. What was the reason that you moved to separate rooms? You seem to still think that there's a possibility (you said he says you're going to have sex and then it doesn't happen). If he's been saying that for 5 years, I'd suggest facing the fact that it's not going to happen.

Frankly, I'd want to get to the bottom of what's going on with this other woman. However, even if there's nothing going on, he's made it clear that there's no way you and he are going to have a physical relationship. But you also say that he doesn't spend time with you, take you out, or even watch TV with you. And you call this a marriage?

It might not come as a surprise that I'm going to suggests counseling - your marriage issues seem to go well beyond the bedroom. I think the no sex issue is a result of the rest of your marriage gone bad for some reason. See if he's willing to explore it. I'm guessing not. So you will have to decide if you want to live the rest of your life living with someone, as a platonic roommate, who won't even watch TV with you.

    Bookmark   August 28, 2013 at 8:20PM
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scarlett2001

I agree, how has this gone on for 5 years without a showdown?

What happened that you started to sleep in separate rooms, was there some type of event that triggered this?
Somehow I feel that there is more to this story.

As a wife, you have a right to an explanation.

    Bookmark   August 29, 2013 at 1:03AM
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suzieque

Sigh - yet another drive-by, I guess.

    Bookmark   August 29, 2013 at 8:48PM
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Daisy1968

I've been married in a sexless marriage for 12 years. It didn't start out that way. Just slowly. Now it's been 4 1/2 years for me since with had sex. He is not cheating, nor is he Gay and not into porn. He just doesn't have a sex drive. Everything time I've tried to talk to him bout it., he gets mad. Why can't he go to the doctors. He thinks I'm suppose to like this and be okay with it.
We get along great unless I bring it up. Now, it would be nice to just snuggle with each other. It's like he loves me but he doesn't want to touch me. I am a nice looking woman so I've been told. I don't understand. What do I do?

    Bookmark   September 22, 2013 at 10:33PM
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BillCB

We too have been married for 12 years and haven't had sex or real intimacy for about 4. I believe we both love each other and care about each other but it more like we've become best friends than husband and wife. We both talk about being sexual but together we just can't seem to find a spark.

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 2:31PM
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