I've been reading Garden Web forums on and off for years. I've almost never posted. The Marriage forum is one that I read periodically. Now that I'm married again (2nd time), I can tell exactly how lucky I am. My husband and I have been together only one and a third years...we got married 6/28/10, a little over a year after we met.
It has not been "perfect" but I think if you expect perfect, disappointment is inevitable. I think the imperfections help me know this is real. And we debate and discuss issues instead of attack each other. We share responsibilities and finances and friends and activities, but we still have our own identities.
I am so sorry for all the people who have marital troubles, regardless of the cause. I learned a lot of good lessons from my first marriage (and my husband did too), and we try our best to apply the knowledge to each other.
I admit I get scared thinking about all the people who have marital problems. No one goes into marriage planning for failure. I'm sure they all feel like I do right now. I wish I could pre-emptively fix upcoming issues so we never, ever get to a bad point with each other. I know that isn't realistic, and I try to just continue the practices that have worked so far.
So yeah, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. And I can't wait until I'm 90 and I look at him and still feel that way.
I wish that for everyone.