Husband left me & 3 kids..mid-life crisis...
Hello, I am 38yrz old and my husband is 39yrz old. He recently left me and my twins and son after being together for 14yrz. He did not leave me for another woman and is not cheating or in love with anyone at this time.
Its been 2 months since he left me. His mother passed away 2 yrz ago of brain cancer at only 58. His job is stressful but a great job. We both worked and were together for ten yrz before we had attempted to have any kids.
We got three all at once....which is tough for any couple. He is from England and very non-communicative and we had issues of no intamcy on his end for years before children. I believe he has suffered from mild depression possibly for a long time, and then when his mother died, there was definitely a long depression and him coming home drinking friday thru sunday till 3am by himself. Before she passed or was ill, I pleaded to him to go to therapy for our marriage sake bc 3 babies was so hard and I stopped working, so we only had one income with 5 of us now. He refused. To add insult to injury, my ex had be-friended me on fb during that time....innocent e-mails and open with my husband regarding the friendship. But eight months later, I did meet him for coffee, and the e-mails had gotten reminicent of our past relationship. My hubby was suspicious, and was caught the first day of meeting for coffee. He finally agreed to therapy. I was told to stop all communication. I was so upset for getting caught on the first day that I didn't. He found out and we were going to split. He stayed. So for 3 yrz, I tried to show my commitment and love and was here for him every night raising our babies and loving and supportive. But, alas, after 3 yrz after the affair and death of his mother, he has left me bc he says he cannot get over the betrayal of my short and stupid affair that was mainly e-mail fantasy. But I take responsibility for it.
He is visiting our kids and being a good father and paying the bills, but now hanging out with co-workers at bars and meeting new women and I am just so upset and angry. I don't want my marriage to end. I love him dearly, and we are best friends, and I don't know what to do or how to help him want to come home. I have tried for 3 yrz to show and do my penance for what I have done, and make amends and take responsibility. Even after having twins, I have always taken care of myself and did not 'let myself go' after 14 years. And I believe he understands the problems before leading up to it.
He is staying on a friends couch(supposedly), and doesn't look like he is coming back to me. Seems over me most of the time.
Thanks for reading and listening.