I've fallen for a man who's engaged...
Hi all, this is probably going to be a novel so apologies in advance for over-typing. I recently started a new job and in the process have fallen head over heels for my boss. Who is engaged.
Yes, I know this is of the bad. I'm fully aware of that fact.
I keep telling myself to leave him alone, and honestly I DO, he's the one that is always flirting with me first and then I can't help but do it back. We have such an easy banter and being with him (in general) is just comfortable.
I wasn't looking for this, I've never dated or gone after someone who was "taken" before. But I have this nagging feeling that tells me that he's "the one" for me and fate is just playing a cruel joke.
Does he feel the same way? I really don't know. We flirt A LOT, he's invited me to go places with him in a casual manner (not a date) and I've always accepted on the assumtion it wasn't a date considering no such words were ever spoken. He's offered to buy me things, I've declined. (but he offers to buy things for pretty much all the employees so I can't say that is unique to me)
He goes out of his way to touch me, to tease me, and to spend time with me. He's invited me out for drinks before with him and his friends and we've had a great time. It seems like if he has any spare time he tries to spend with me.
I will say though that we never, ever flirt at work, we always end up going somewhere innocent together, having fun of the non-sexual nature, and end up with everyone around us assuming we're a couple.
What makes this harder is that I see his finace almost everyday, and she is NICE as can be. She's always been sweet to me, and is such a trusting type. I could never do something that would hurt her, and it ticks me off a little that he can be running around with me and having a good time, and she has no clue.
But, we've never done anything that would really warrant him telling her either and risk making a mountain out of a molehill. No kissing, no sex, no nothing beyond excessive flirting and tons of innuendo laden conversation.
I know what I should do. But actually doing that is so much harder. I enjoy being with him, and I've pretty much fallen head over heels for him. I want him to leave her and be with me, but I don't know if that would ever happen, and I don't want to be the woman that breaks up an engagement and hurts his overly nice fiancee.
Plus, I don't know if I WANT a guy that leaves his fiancee for another woman because then I'd always been checking over my should to make sure he's not doing the same to me...
To be honest, I'm a little upset that he is leading me on so much, and even more upset with myself for not putting up a wall around my heart and keeping him out. I'm not stupid, I know the odds of this ending in my favor are slim.
...but I can't help who I fall for...I'm so conflicted it hurts my brain to even think about this whole situation. If anyone has words of wisdom I'd be very greatful. I've talked with my friends about this but they are bias to my side of things and I really need some outside perspective.
Does it ever work out? Ever? Or am I really just fooling myself thinking it would be different for us and that he'll leave her one day so we can be together?