Life is crazy....!

peanutmomAugust 27, 2010

I have posted on this forum before and on others as well. Life isn't perfect but things have improved a lot. I am about 8 months pregnant with a child neither of us was expecting. No pun intended. I posted about unbearable pain earlier. The good news is that I am no longer in much pain at all. After trying, what seemed like every option I was directed by an er doctor to check with my back surgeon. Duh, I should have thought about that before. I had to check with him when I found out I was pregnant, but never thought to make an appointment afterwards. After the appointment and the shot I was given near the base of my spine during, I feel like a different person. The best thing is that it seems much like it will be a one time thing with the shot. Things are going much better at home. I have been playing catch up with the house cleaning and trying to get ready for the baby. BTW, when this one is born I am getting fixed! I don't ever want to worry about this again. And I hate taking chances with all of the other options. Obviously they don't work all of the time.

Here is the question. I am definitely too old to be having kids again, I am 36 and will be 37 less than 2 weeks after the baby is born. This is my opinion,as far as more kids goes, considering my health and history of complications. I never felt like a beached whale with my other kids. I actually lost over 20 lbs. with this pregnancy, but I wasn't tiny to begin with, not huge just huge. It has leveled out, but I am still not gaining weight. From the size of my stomach, the baby is definitely not being affected by my weight. My husband thinks pregnant women are sexy. I think he is nuts, but like I said there wasn't a problem last time. We spent a lot of time working on some old issues after our last problem with the lack of sensitivity to my pain. I think we made good progress, but right now, he can't seem to understand why I am not interested. I can't seem to get in the mood. My husband works long hours when the weather is fit, and it has been. He is working 13-15 hours a day. I would think he is too tired to fool around, but I think he has the hormone imbalance. Jeez! Anyway, I am home all day with the kids, sometimes with my 3 month old granddaughter as well, and I just drag by the end of the day. I normally would try to muster the energy for some play time, but I find it hard to switch gears. He can go from working like crazy to cruising ebay to reading the news and watching tv- to ready in an instant. I am thinking part of my lack of drive may be hormones and part of it being treated like he is only interested in one part of me when he is home. Some women would think I am nuts, but I just don't feel sexy even when I go out of my way to get all dolled up. I just can't find any interest in being treated like I am just here for the sex. I guess it would be different if he was interested in anything about me or my body besides the parts he wants to play with. I can't wait to have the baby and get back to "normal", if there is such a thing. I am hoping his fixation with the pregnancy sex goes back to normal, too.

Any advice would be appreciated and I am sure interesting.

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

"I guess it would be different if he was interested in anything about me or my body besides the parts he wants to play with."

That's it in a nutshell.

The problem isn't even sex as such, it's the objectification of yourself & your body;
the fact that your husband is getting all turned on because you're pregnant is just adding insult to injury:

Treating anybody like a resource to be mined is degrading & insulting, & treating your partner that way when you know she doesn't want to do what you want her to do is doubly disrespectful.

    Bookmark   August 28, 2010 at 1:06PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I guess my best bet is maybe to just wait until after the baby is born. He was never this way when I wasn't pregnant. It is a fetish of sorts, I guess. Maybe I can wait for that. Anyway, we normally don't have issues in this dept. I was reading an old post where one of the posters said if the dh wanted to play at night, he had to pay attention all day, or at least that was the gist of it. I told him if he wanted any kind of attention from me, it was going to be a banking system and he was going to have to pay some attention to me first. Hoping it works.

    Bookmark   August 28, 2010 at 5:43PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

If something is hard, then it is probably not worth.. Life is what happens while you are making other plans. Live Your Life Crazy and love every second of it; in black, blue, pink and green text with a crazy laughing character for the A in crazy. The only way to have a life is to commit to it like crazy..

Here is a link that might be useful: Online Generic Viagra

    Bookmark   October 15, 2010 at 2:22AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

you are 8 months pregnant and don't want sex, well duh...Your DH is not aware that you are about to give birth or what? Hmmm I see from your previous posts that he is not very sensitive to your or everyone else's needs, well it didn't change apparently. He is who he is.

I looked at the dates and it looks like you already gave birth, hopefully it went well and baby is healthy.

    Bookmark   October 17, 2010 at 1:03PM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
Getting a little help from your spouse
Well, the holidays are here and as usual, I'm worn...
My husband became cold, apathetic, after we came back from vacati
Me and my husband have been together for 13 years,...
husband doesn't want sex.Can I hear from the men???
We are in our 40's.Both of us in good shape.We are...
Cheating Husband
I met my husband 23 years ago. We married 1.5 years...
Intimacy Issues
My wife and I married at the age of 16, we were pregnant...
People viewed this after searching for:
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™