Should both husband and wife wear rings?

cheerful1_gwAugust 1, 2006

It seems the wife always wears a ring, but not the husband. Is this unusual?

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There can be various reasons why a man may not wear his wedding band. I never saw my father wear his because he was an aircraft mechanic and was a hazard for him, it could can caught or crushed. My husband, an electrician, wears his on a necklace for the same reasons.

I wear my band every day, with the exception of gardening, hiking and/or camping, but I do not wear my engagement ring. I have seen many women wear both and some even have additional bands for anniversaries.

    Bookmark   August 1, 2006 at 10:47AM
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My father has never worn a wedding ring because he does not consider it manly to wear jewelry! My husband wore his for a few months and then stopped because he did not like having something on his finger. That turned out to be convenient for me when I put on some weight. My wedding ring was tight, so I appropriated his!


    Bookmark   August 1, 2006 at 12:33PM
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My husband did not wear one for the first 20 years we were married....he worked in a lumber yard and it was too dangerous. He now wears a band, and is on the second one. The first one was nice but did not last too long. This time I bought a heavy duty band and he has had it for 1 1/2 years....since our 25th anniversay!
Karen L

    Bookmark   August 1, 2006 at 4:31PM
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My husband hasn't taken his off for over 25 years. All the couples we are friends with have rings for both husband and wife.

    Bookmark   August 2, 2006 at 2:41PM
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Unless there's a physical reason (like danger on the job), I can't imagine a husband not wearing a ring in this day and age. Every married man at my work wears a ring, as do all my brothers and brothers-in-law and my DH. I think maybe a couple of my uncles, in their 70s, don't wear one, and maybe never did. I think husbands also wearing a ring is somewhat recent.

    Bookmark   August 2, 2006 at 8:11PM
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My dad was happily married to my mom for 43 years until her death, and he never wore his ring. He just could never get used to it. My husband of 20 years never takes his off. I wear mine whenever I leave the house, but not while I'm home. I think it just depends on the motive. If, for example, I only wore mine at home, and NOT when I left the house, that would speak volumes!

    Bookmark   August 3, 2006 at 12:50AM
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Neither one of us wear ours. My husband stopped several years ago after almost ripping his finger off by catching the ring on a piece of equipment at work and I haven't worn mine since gaining weight. I do often wear other rings that look like wedding bands though. My husband doesn't wear any jewelry at all. If you don't recognize the fact that you are married, a ring doesn't change that!

    Bookmark   August 3, 2006 at 7:02AM
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We don't wear our rings. I did for the couple months I worked in an office everyday but otherwise it's just too hard. I either worked outdoors in dirt or I've been home with kids and always doing something that is not good for the ring. I actually only wanted a simple wedding band but my husband surprised me with a fancy ring. I love the ring but if i had a simple band I would wear it more. My husband can't wear his at work. My father almost lot his finger at work not long after he was married due to his wedding ring, he never wore it again.

    Bookmark   August 4, 2006 at 2:26PM
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I married someone that believes that part of our union was the exchanging of wedding rings. We married each other and not only does the marriage license show that but so do our wedding rings.
He will never take that ring off unless we aren't together anymore. He is proud to wear his ring.

    Bookmark   August 5, 2006 at 5:51AM
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My husband and I both wear our rings daily, but not while we are at work.

I work at a veterinary hospital and work with medications and chemicals that could tarnish and wear away a ring. Not to mention I am always hitting my hand on things and would be afraid of knocking a diamond out of it. I keep both my engagement ring and wedding band in my pocket or my wallet and put them back on my finger the moment I walk out of the building when my shift is over. I also take them off when I put hair gel into my hair. It is such sticky stuff I wouldn't want it drying on my rings.

My husband works with food and so does not wear his for fear of ruining it or getting it caught on the machinary. Like me, he keeps it in his wallet while at work but puts it on his finger the moment his shift is over.

Other than that, we always have our rings on. =)

    Bookmark   August 6, 2006 at 5:37PM
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Neither of us wear our wedding rings. DH never did--he hates wearing any jewelry other than a watch. I wore mine for a number of years, but it got tight, and I have so many problems with allergies, that I found it much more convenient to simply not wear it at all (I rarely wear any jewelry at all--not even a watch).

Anyway, as I used to tell my MIL when she complained that I didn't have my ring on (note that she NEVER complained about her son not wearing his, mind you--LOL)--"That ring doesn't make me married, the vows I promised to my husband do". In over 30 years, neither my husband nor I have ever cheated nor acted as if we weren't married. THAT's the important thing to me.

But it's certainly a matter of choice. I see married men and women wearing wedding rings, and married men and women who chose not to. As long as the couple is content with the relationship, it doesn't bother me one way or the other.

    Bookmark   August 16, 2006 at 3:36PM
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I believe it is an excuse for a man to say he doesn't wear is wedding ring because he doesn't like to wear jewlry. I'm sure there is a lot of things we don't like to do, but a ring symbolic of your supposed love for your wife, why not sacrifice and wear it. I'm sure she don't like to cook every day, iron your clothes, clean up your mess but it gets done. I think these guys who don't wear their wedding rings just want maintain the bachelor look!

    Bookmark   August 22, 2006 at 8:38PM
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My husband and I have always only worn our rings when we felt like it. We have always trusted each other and no matter what, I know I am going to him at night and he is coming to me, because that is what we want. We love each other.

Not wearing my ring because is it the expected thing has led me to a more conscious relationship with my ring than I think I would have had otherwise. When I do wear it, there is often a sentimental reason and I feel the ring on my finger the whole time, reminding me of that and I love it. Or sometimes I wear it just because it's beautiful and I love appreciating it consciously on that level too.

I also appreciate the sentimentality and energy of wearing one's wedidng ring all the time, too, the ring being as ever-present as the relationship. That's beautiful too.

What I personally don't find quite as beautiful as either of those situations is the wearing of a ring being tied up with fidelity or ownership. Fidelity is a choice larger than the wearing of a ring. If one feels fidelity is threatened by the absence of the ring, then there may indeed be a problem, but the ring isn't it.

    Bookmark   August 23, 2006 at 1:53PM
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Whispery--you expressed what I was trying to say so much better than I did.

I've just never figured that a wearing or not wearing a ring made any difference to our relationship--we're so married to each other, so dedicated to the concept, that a small piece of hardware can't possibly improve or lessen our marriage. A good marriage is a good marriage, with or without wedding rings. A poor one cannot be improved by wearing jewelry.

    Bookmark   August 28, 2006 at 7:48AM
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I'm late to this, but....

All I can say is that I've worked around machinery all my life. I've worked with many men with missing digits. Some of them because their rings were caught. In addition, I've never personally liked jewelry of any kind for myself. I don't even like the watch that I wear. If was attracted to a woman to whom this symbolic nonsense took on the significance I'm reading about here, that would be a deal-breaker.

My life isn't symbolic. It's real. It is what it is. It is what I tell those who know me it is. It's what I promise those close to me -- and I keep those promises. Judge me for who I am, please. Not what I wear.

    Bookmark   August 28, 2006 at 10:03PM
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cant wear it on the job, its cosidered a safety hazard, and i never wear it in a singles bar. haha kidding

    Bookmark   September 7, 2006 at 7:14PM
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My husband and I both wear our wedding rings. But then again, we mainly work with computers and talking to other people, traveling, etc, not with machinery. It's ultimately up to the couple and doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. My husband would never take his ring off, unless he thought he would lose it by keeping it on or wearing it would hurt him, if he had a factory job or something like that. To us our rings are a symbol of our marriage vows, and we'd be sad to lose them. But it wouldn't be the end of everything either. We'd probably get new ones eventually, especially since our rings only cost about $20 each, but they do mean a lot to us. The most meaning, though, is in the marriage itself, and no ring, or lack of one, will ever change that.

So, wear one or not. It doesn't matter at all. What matters is what's in your heart and between the two of you.

    Bookmark   October 6, 2006 at 3:26PM
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I wear my wedding ring because it is beautiful. My husband does not wear a wedding band. No excuses as to why he doesn't! And despite what Maruae may think, he's not trying to "keep his bachelor look". A ring is very easily slipped off. I trust my husband and a ring doesn't make us any more married than we already are by our committment to our wedding vows. I think the men's band is called the world's tiniest handcuff by some. :O)

    Bookmark   October 9, 2006 at 3:13PM
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My husband wears his. I rarely do. He has replaced my original gold band with $20k rings. It's just "stuff" to me. I want the things money can't buy.

    Bookmark   March 17, 2008 at 5:35PM
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My husband was an aircraft worker and never took his ring off except in the hospital and the last couple of times they put tape over it. I did quit wearing mine, because it snags on my clothes or gets my finger caught in a drawer. I just simply don't like rings. I told him when we married I just wanted a gold band and he said every woman needs as least one diamond. I will wear a costume ring every now and then, but take it off as soon as I get home. I took mine and my husband's class rings, my wedding rings and his diamond and had them made into a pendant/slide. I kept his wedding ring as a keep sake.

    Bookmark   March 17, 2008 at 11:09PM
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I agree with you, justcallmeb. I've never really like jewerly. I sometimes wear earrings to help flatter my face, but other than that most jewerly bothers me.

And, diamonds seem just so absolutely materialistic, IMHO. I have a nice ring, but I hardly ever wear it.

There's a commercial out now with a middle age couple driving in a car with a beautiful love song playing in the background.. the husband reaches over and hold's his wife's hand giving her a diamond necklace.. It just about makes me sick. Yeah, those diamonds prove that your guy likes you.. too bad he gave the matching diamond earrings to his secretary earlier that day. Maybe I'm just not romantic or my romance includes something totally different. Way to ruin a beautiful song (Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg).

Here is a link that might be useful: Cofffee Shop

    Bookmark   March 18, 2008 at 3:59PM
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My friend has a safe full of jewelry that her husband bought her over the years. She is 70 years old and doesn't know what to do with it, can't sell it, no market for second hand jewelry. She is afraid to wear it, she might be mugged, but then she is afraid of everything. She had never written a check while he was alive, didn't know how much savings they had, how much they owed and she had to ask for every dime she got. It was very rare that she went any where without him. So diamonds don't particularly represent love.

    Bookmark   March 18, 2008 at 5:58PM
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BTW my parents are happliy married but they never wore their rings, I know for sure I never saw them wearing rings. Only on a wedding picture.

    Bookmark   March 20, 2008 at 4:56PM
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My husband bought my wedding ring 3 months after we were married. We only had enough money for one ring ($30). One day, in front of my mother in law, I mentioned I wish he would wear a ring. She then sent me a picture of him wearing a wedding ring WHEN HE WAS MARRIED BEFORE. He was married for 8 months the first time. When I got pregnant (we had been married for 9 years by then) I stopped wearing my ring because my hand swelled so much and I never wore it again. I realized you are married in your heart. What you wear on your finger is only jewelry. We celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary this past January and are looking forward to our 33rd this coming January sans rings. (P.S. He did buy me a honker of a diamond ring for our 32nd which I wear on special occasions.)

    Bookmark   April 1, 2008 at 10:22PM
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Well we just celebrated our 25th WA, and all I wanted was a silver ring, just a simple band.

My DH was so please, that it only cost $25 ! But I am really happy with's what it represents.

My sister should have bought white gold, apparently that's what people do..

Swest2...a big honker of a diamond...sounds glorious !

    Bookmark   April 2, 2008 at 2:18AM
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my dad never wore his do to his job as working with electricity.

    Bookmark   April 2, 2008 at 10:50AM
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we both wear ours. DH got a titanium one because it was more "manly" looking and won't get scratched up with weights at the gym.
it would honestly hurt my feelings if he wouldn't wear one and visa versa.

    Bookmark   April 24, 2008 at 3:27PM
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My Dad never wore one (engineer). I think they were less common for men of his generation.

My DH wears one. In his line of work I think it is important. And I admit I like the symbol that he is mine, although I know that it is just that, a symbol. If it ever became a danger in woodworking or so forth, I would try to be understanding, though after 17 years of marriage it might be a stretch for me :)

    Bookmark   April 24, 2008 at 7:01PM
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I have for the most part worn my ring since the day we were married. I did take it off for a short period of time now since my husband and I are separated. But when we decided we wanted to remain married and work on our marriage I put mine back on and asked that he start wearing his to make me feel he wants to be married. He never has worn his ring and says he doesnt like jewelry. So he still does not wear it even though he says he wants to be married to me. whats up with that? so is it right I wear mine and he doesnt wear his and gets upset if I take mine off and yet he never wears his? double standard and my feelings dont matter. marriage ???

    Bookmark   January 23, 2011 at 11:26PM
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