What is wrong with him?
I have been with my husband for 8 years and married for 5. We have two little girls together ages 2 1/2 and 7 months. I am 29 years old and my husband is 27 going on 12! I am at my breaking point with this marriage. He is driving me insane. Where to begin.....I'll start by saying my husband is a nice guy, very easy going, non confrontational, and a very hard worker AT WORK. People on the outside looking in love him to death and think he's the greatest. The truth of the matter is is that my husband does not do anything when it comes to our family. Our daughter is 2 1/2 and he has never given her a bath. He has no idea what her favorite things are (cartoons, foods, etc.) and he just in general does nothing when it comes to taking care of things at home except for mowing the lawn and he wouldn't do that if he didn't have too. Lately he's been doing things that are not like him. He's native american and I'm african american. He can drink beer like nobody I've ever seen. He's not an alcoholic but he takes drinking to a whole new level. Last week he came home smelling like cigarrettes. He went to take a shower and I took his keys and went out to his truck where I found an empty pack of cigarrettes and plenty of butts in the ash tray. HE DOESN'T SMOKE! I confronted him about this and he lied about it. He's lied to me several times and each time I confront him he promises me that he won't lie to me again. He works 2 jobs because he ran up a credit card bill and lied about it at first but I soon found out the truth. I told him last week that I was fed up with his craziness and he said he was going to stop drinking which he believed was the reason he was acting the way he was. He also said that since I never said anything lately about his excessive drinking that he thought it was Ok to continue to drink that way. I work outside the home and take care of our girls 24-7. Anytime anyone sees me other than when I am at work I am with my kids. I get no free time to do anything. When I do get time to myself it's when I take a shower and the kids are usually screaming their heads off because I'm out of their view and they're not use to their Daddy. I have brought all of these things to my husbands attention 1,000 times with the exact same results "I'm going to do better". Nothing ever changes and I'm stuck doing ALL the parenting. This is just the TIP of the iceberg. He can never do anything without being told to do it; it's like he's my 3rd child and I mean it literally. I want a husband not another child, I'm not his mother and I have told him that several times. We have two small children and he acts like we don't have any. He leaves things laying around all the time like coins on the floor, his exacto knife from work, and many other things that could pose a threat if our children got ahold of them. I continuously go around the house picking these up. I am truly the more responsible one in this marriage. I just do not know what to do with him. I love my husband but I can no longer tolerate his lying or his lack of responsibility. I totally feel like a single Mom although I am married. My husband and I are like roomates. Me and the kids sleep in the bedroom and he sleeps on the couch. We have an ok sex life although that's a whole other story in itself. People on the outside looking in think I'm working him to death because he works 2 jobs but he works this other job because of his own stupidity and it was his idea to get the job. I truly belive that if we didn't have children I would have divorced him a year ago but kids make things a little more complicated. I just don't know what to do. I do think we need marriage counseling and I'm willing to do it, we just have to make the time to go which is going to be extremely hard with our schedules. I don't see our marriage really lasting too much longer though without some counseling, I HAVE HAD IT! I would appreciate any ideas or comments that could help us.