What to do when your husband changes.....
My husband has changed in the last year and a half since we have been married and it is driving me CRAZY!
When we met I fell in love with his personality. He was calm and easy-going. Nothing seemed to keep him in a bad mood. He did not get jealous when I had to deal with my ex husband about my child. He was even friendly to my ex. He was wonderful with my child and his two children-he seemed to have tons of patience. He loved to do family activities and be around my family and friends.
I thought to myself that he has all the qualities that I have been looking for in a guy....well besides the usual hard-working stuff.
We married a year and a half ago after having dated for 2 years. Soon after his shift at work got changed. He went from working midnights to working afternoons. We had such problems with finding a babysitter for all three kids that was reliable and affordable that we agreed it would be better for me to stay home with the kids. So I quit my job 6 months ago and have been home with the kids.
I do all the housework, all school stuff with the kids, and all the running errands. I do not complain, I enjoy being at home.
But my husband has begun staying up late because he says he can't fal asleep after work. Then he is tired in the mornings and sleeps in late which does not give us much time together with the kids. He literally leaves a mess everywhere he is at in the house. He has begun smoking, though he does not smoke in our home. He has no patience with any of the kids. He yells way too much and really nags the kids to death. Our sex life has gone down because I am in bed before he gets home because I have to get up early. I usually try to stay up late on the weekends though so we have time together.
When I began commenting on his messiness and poor attitude and lack of patience he started complaining about the stress of only one income.
I was not about to deal with that so I found a babysitting job. I watch a few kids in our home and make about what I was making after babysitting expenses, lunches out, and gas when I had a job.
Still his attitude has not improved.
Today he woke up and complained about like 5 different things the kids were doing at the time, from eating too fast to talking to much. I finally looked at him and said that maybe he should leave the discipline and correcting the children up to me since he does not seem to be able to handle it. I mean how can I be with the kids all the time and rarely need to correct them or yell and he is around them five minutes and starts in on them.
He got pissed, went outside and had a cigarette, and then came back in and was quiet for a while.
I have cried, yelled, and talked to him about how I feel. I have told him that if things keep going like this I do not see our marriage lasting. I really feel like I am a single mom of 3 kids now instead of one. He has apologized and promised to go back to the old him but it never lasts for more than a week or so. Then we argue again and he tries again and then he goes back to this. It is like a never ending rollercoaster.
He can not change jobs and has applied to get back on midnights. He has not gotton it as of yet but we are hoping he will in the fall.
Any suggestions on what to do. I love my husband and just want the him that I fell in love with back!