I'm new in this forum. I'm sure all of you get bored with this topic already.
I don't know what to do and I need some advises or suggestions.. I've been married for 13 years and had only one sexual intercourse with my husband. My husband told me that he was organically impotent. I didn't even know he has this problem before we got married. I feel like he lied to me from the begining and didn't give me any chance to say yes or no. I asked him to go to marriage counselor and doctor. He refused and after I asked many times, he finally went to the doctor and doctor have him solutions but he never use or did what the doctor said.
I'm getting sick and tired for asking him help many times. I get this anger towards him and feel like I'm the only one who involve in this marriage. He seems pretty content with him self. Another things weird about this, if he don't feel like to have sex with me, why on earth he was visiting porn site? Really?! I knew this accidentaly when I used his computer to search for something and I ended up finding all these porn site. I've been faithfull with him until a few years ago. I thought enough is enough.
I'm working as a police officer in one city here and I have an affair with one of my co worker. I thought about this very carefuly. I don't want a man who ended up black mailing me or ended up falling in love with each other. That's why I choose my co worker. He has the same idea with me. He doesn't want to remarried just to have someone to sleep with. I just need some connections but all of these was fake but yet I'm still doing it. I feel guilty after I'm doing it but my anger is the reason for me to keep doing this. Am I wrong?
I've help people with their problem and help them fixed theirs. I can't even fixed my own. I don't know what to do. I'm thinking of divorcing him but I still care about him. I don't know whether I still love him or not. I'm defenetely not in love with him. I just wish he is gay so we can move on but he told me he was not gay. I still do wish him to be gay tho!
I'm so confused right now.