response from engaged woman....advice

noah99July 24, 2007

I told her how I feel about everything..that i liked her but cannot pursue her, but at the same time she is making a big mistake staying with someone who she's not totally committed to and isn't honest with..

I almost feel like telling her that since she was honest with me she needs to be honest with her fiance..because he doesnt know that we've hung out and she still admits to liking another guy..Although i know we probably wont be more than friends, he should know right? How can you admit to liking someone and still truly be committed to marrying another person..it just doesnt seem right..you can decide for yourself...but i would appreciate advice..

Again she contradicts herself after she wrote this:

Dan,

So this is a very tough situation. One part of me wants to break up with Dan and never look back. Get to know you more and if we ended up dating, great and if not then maybe I made a great friend. On the other hand I donÂt want to give up 7 years of my life and my best friend.

What little time we spent together, I really did enjoy your company. And I would hate to miss out on getting to know you more. BUT you are right; you are a good-looking single guy and I am not a single girl. And even though I want to spend more time with you, I really need to work on my relationship with my fiancé. Weather we get married, or wait awhile till we are ready...I did say yes to him. And I shouldnÂt run away as soon as it gets hard.

But as a single good-looking guy you will have no problems finding someone else. I def donÂt want to hurt you, so the best thing for us is to go our separate ways. I did not want you to think I was leading you on, I wasn't. I do like you, but I have a commitment to another guy. And you make it hard to keep that commitment to him. I know it will just be easier for you to find someone else anyhow. You have plenty of girls looking at you, lol.

And If Dan and I decide mutually that it isnÂt working out, then I hope its not to late to be your friend.

Teaya

P.S. I am sure you wont talk to me after this letter, but I just wanted to say thanks for everything.

(my real name is Dan i was trying to use my bro's kids name but that didnt work..lol)

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jennmonkey

It's really none of your business if she tells him or not, and not your place to tell her what to disclose to him. She has made it clear that she is staying with him, so now you should move on and find yourself an available girl. Which sounds like it won't be a problem since you are a "good-looking single guy". :)

Good luck!

    Bookmark   July 24, 2007 at 5:23PM
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popi_gw

Use your good lookin' guy gifts and find a good looking gal.

I would get out of the situation with this girl. She really is a bit immature.

I remember when I was 21, centuries ago, and I did, and said dumb things, my emotions took over my brain, and when I think back, now, I cringe ! This girl is going to do that when she is older.

Enjoy your freedom, play the field and find yourself a lovely unattached maiden, who will make your heart do sommersaults.

Good luck, my friend.

PP

    Bookmark   July 25, 2007 at 4:34AM
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yborgal

Sounds to me like she's letting you know you were only an amusement and she's trying hard not to hurt your feelings because she realizes you were into her more than she was into you.
Don't read more into this than there is. I don't see amy contradiction in what she wrote. You were somebody that she enjoyed spending time with. She thought you were goodlooking and she was flattered by your attention. However, now that she sees you were taking it more seriously than she was she's backing off. I don't see it ever being a friendship because you sorta crossed that line and it will be uncomfortable for her as she tries to weigh her words so you won't read more into what she's saying than what she means.

I'm speaking from experience. I once was that girl.

    Bookmark   July 25, 2007 at 7:26AM
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