wife says I am cold and insensitive
My wife says she's at the end of her line with me. Currently, we are separated but have been talking. We do have a 1yr old together, but I also bring three other kids from two past relationships. No the kids do not live with me, and in the past the youngest(10) was putting serious strain on the relationship.
My wife has said unless I seek counseling there is no way we are getting back together. She said I have to many unresolved issues with my past that are affecting us. I Don't know if anything from my past is affecting me or not. Personally, I don't think about things in my past.
Her biggest gripe, she feels I need to be more attentive toward her needs and that of our child. She feels since we currently "DO NOT" live together I should still understand she needs help with our child... I AGREE 100%. However, she never asks me for what it is she needs. I tell her ask me what you need and I'll get it. I'm not Kreskin I can't read minds. Her argument is
"If I have to ask you and it doesn't come from you, it shows me you don't care. You should understand I always need help"
I'm not sure I follow that line of reasoning. I've told her I don't know if you have 20 cases of food, diapers, clothes, or anything else. I would like to get you what you need "NOW" and not what you may need later.
Recently, she had a flea problem at the house and asked me to research what was the best way to eradicate the problem. I gave her some answers, but she was still miffed because it didn't dawn on me to go buy the stuff and have it waiting for her when she got home from work.
Huh? you asked me to do some research for you... that's it.
In the end, she didn't use my research; instead, she followed her sisters advice, and the flea problem persisted. According to her, though, that's not the point. I should have been more sensitive to the needs of our child and shown that I cared by purchasing what I researched and having it ready for her. Of course, you know the argument was "all you asked for was research."
One thing that has also really upset her is I've told her "I am perfectly happy being alone. I expect to grow old and die alone and that's okay if it happens. It would be great to be with you, but I will live on if it doesn't work out."
I do love her, and want to be with her, but I certainly don't need her.
there's a lot more but I just wanted to see what your thoughts on this was.
there's more, but let's see where this goes first.
thanks for your time