I need my husband

icravemymanJuly 30, 2008

I've been married 15 months to a very sexy man who i am so in love with and crave like crazy in every way. In the beginning it was obvious that he craved me the same way, but not for a while i have noticed a change in him. First let me say -He is awesome in bed and he always makes sure that i am satisfied but its like he has no interest. We have sex and i will have muliple O and he will say i dont feel like getting off tonight and say i am fine and go to bed and i am like what.... Is that normal. I crave him all the time - we usually we have sex everynight before bed. I wish that sometimes it would just happen b/c he craves me- I want him to come up and start messing around and it to just happen - not feel like that its bed time and well he just doing it just for me. Am i stupid to want this... and to worry that he does not crave me.

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Well, as much as I desire my DH I can tell you if we did it like every single night I think I wouldn't desire quite so much.

You are probably just moving past that honeymoon phase and maybe he is trying to make sure you are pleasured but the guy is tired. (Every day? Lucky you!) Try not to worry-sounds like you have a enviable sex life and frankly if my DH just wanted to please me & was satisfied with that it would be A-OK with me!

    Bookmark   July 30, 2008 at 10:48PM
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Heck, yes! Just go with it and enjoy it. Be glad you are such an orgasmic woman. Isn't nature wonderful?

The beautiful thing about sex - it's truly nature's gift. You don't need to be rich, smart or even beautiful to do it, just about anybody can do it and it's also good for your mental and physical health.

The other animals in creation do not get to enjoy sex as much or often as we primates do, so we are doubly lucky.

    Bookmark   July 31, 2008 at 2:06AM
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I understand what you are saying but I think its more then just passing the honeymoon stage b/c its like his connection to me is not there so therefore i am questioning everything. When i know that he is doing it just for me then it takes the fun out of it. I have talked to him about taking a break from everynight that he doesn't have too- bc i would rather have it less often so that he craves me b/c i know why crave something that you get anytime you want it. But he acts like it bothers him that I don't i say that. We has been under alot of stress at work and his ex wife is jerking him around and using the kids - on top of that we are trying to buy a house big enough for 4 kids and the money is tight so trust me i know he is tired working tons of overtime to keep us all up. but all this craziness has caused us to argue about stuff that has nothing to do with us and then he has said stuff to me that hits the heart. I was on the computer and noticed that he had been on some sex toys website which is not a big deal but it bothered bc we did not tell me about it and ordered something for himself - I am open to that stuff and he knows that so i dont know why he did not mention it to me. Then I guess he got upset bc he thought i was checking behind is back bc he thinks i dont trust him but thats not true i just ran across it when i googled something. A big fight blew up and he told me that he has not been into me for 7 months and that its not a looks thing bc he says i am beautiful and it not about the sex he says its just that he just not there. He cant explain it. but he loves me. Now its like he is picking me apart and getting mad at me over everything and then tells me if i am not happy to find someone else and i am like what is going on bc its not me i am so happy and inlove - i had no idea that he has felt different toward me bc he acts ok most of the time I just figured it was everything else on him and that it wasn't about us,,, Now i am questioning everything and started snooping for real and I am driving myself and him crazy - that is making things worse between us but i am so scared. He tells me to chill out that hes not going anywhere but that he needs space but i am scared to give him space and then something happens and he finds someone else. he is very goodlooking and around woman all day at work - flirty woman and it never bothered me before bc i was secure with him but now i worrk all day... What do i do?

    Bookmark   July 31, 2008 at 11:14AM
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I think you really need to focus on you and get some outside interests besides your DH. Yes the fact he said that he has not beeen interested in you for 7 months is worrisome, but really he is overworked and things are reaching a boiling point. People say hurtful things when they are overworked and overtired.

If you don't give him a chance to miss(crave)you then how can he? Go out with your girlfriends and pursure some outside interests other than your marriage as it will give you something else to think about, enjoy and as you relax and back off a little things may relax back to normal, kwim?

    Bookmark   July 31, 2008 at 12:54PM
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Yeah - he wants space but wont give me any. He goes out when i am stuck with the kids and then when i dont have the kids he says thats are time together. I mentioned a shopping trip with a friend from work while he was working on Saturday and my mom had the kids and he got all crazy like why are you starting to do stuff like that - got all mad b/c i might spend a dime - asked me 100 questions about the friend like he did not trust me - this is just getting crazy. Then said well i guess i wont be home after work going out with the guys dont know what time i will be in like he just wanted to scare me.... I hate games ,,, the his phone was off all afternoon and night...

    Bookmark   July 31, 2008 at 4:57PM
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He sounds like he is really stressed, and you for that matter. One thing happens and it seems to be blown out of proportion.

He was probably objecting to the shopping trip because he was worried about money. Did you allay his fears ? Did you say, I won't spend up big ?

He sounds like he needs to grow up a bit. Trying to get back at you by saying he won't be home straight after work.

You both need to work on some communication skills. Get a book from the library or buy one.

Lot at stake here, when children involved. Perhaps you are overstretched financially...this would make anyone testy.

    Bookmark   July 31, 2008 at 7:03PM
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I am trying just to stay off his back-likelastnight i just did not question him about anything... Tried to build him up when I could and thanked him for all his hard work. He was happy to hear that my work approved me some overtime- so I guess he sees that i am working hard too. I felt kind've funny lastnight but did not say anything to him. As i mentioned early on he ordered a toy - well he it came yesterday in the mail. I had worked late so he got home before me and had opened and said that he washed and had it under the bed- the only way i knew it had came was b/c i saw the box outside in the garbage. He said that he had put it away from the kids not me- OK i get that. Anyway lastnight he wanted to use it with me so ok cool if its for him but he is using it together then i am open to that- hey spice it up. Anyway we did our usual thing - awesome i got my multiple- but he did not finish- i mentioned a few times you want to use your thing anyway when we were done he got it out and used and i guess you could say loved it real fast. He bought a Jenna Haze P and A if you get the idea. I am thinking how is that different then me but i did not say anything i just talked dirty and acted like i enjoyed watching him doing it. WHATEVER... Should that bother me??? Normally it would not have bothered me but latley...

    Bookmark   August 1, 2008 at 8:25AM
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I am back had to do some work - anyway it was a little weird to see him do that.... and like i said if i was a man I would want the real wet thing- My husband is not like a weird freak - so this for him is very unusual.. He said it doesn't feel better then me then i thought whats the point he said he got b/c he has a threesome fantasy and well it the closest thing to that- He has never mentioned that idea. I guess i should be happy that he went that route, but how was that like a threesome - sounds more like he wants some strange... He said he had planned to do that the same time he was doing me but wasn't sure how to use it yet bc he had not messed with it yet. What should i think or should I just go with it. I hate so many things are coming up and changing - I try just act like i am fine and none of this bothers me but it is crawling all over me inside, its like this morning I left for work before him and that P&A was on the bathroom counter then i called him back to say feed the dog and he did not answer- he always answers the phone - 15 minutes later he called me back and said that he did not hear the phone. I am thinking he is at home doing that toy and watching a flick... But i did not say a word - i just acted like nothing was on my mind.

    Bookmark   August 1, 2008 at 10:32AM
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Just found out new info information. I was balancing the checkbook and noticed that the stuff he bought was not on there. So dumb I asked him about it but anyway he told me that he got a cc - when he is totally against me using cc. Now I wonder what he is purchasing on this card. I wanted so bad to ask him what email he used for conf of the item to ship b/c its not on the email we share. He has been deleting everything onthe computer everyday for the past 2 weeks he says to speed up the internet... I don't believe that for a second. I can't believe how in less then a month everything can change..... I was so bad to trust him but it is hard. My first husband cheated on me and says that I am letting that ruin us - but i recently found out from his oldest daughter that his first marriage ended bc he had an affair and ended up dating the girl for a year - they split 6mo before we met. He said he did not tell me bc he had an awful 13yr marriage no sex but like once a month and this girl came a long and was everything that he was looking for and had high sex drive and great and bed - they split bc he said it would never work with her b/c God wasn't gonna let it and the relationship hurt his kids and she was just a reminder of that... Then I can along and i had 2 kids the same age as his and we all just hit it off - its still great - I love his kids.. Until 1 month ago he would tell me how awesome I was in bed everything. 3 days ago he told he is I don't do much good but I am a great Mom and housekeeper and cook - I look Great but thats its - I feel like s--- about myself now. Sorry to keep talking but i need to vent - the only friends i have are connected to him.

    Bookmark   August 1, 2008 at 11:20AM
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You know at first I thought this post was just about you having a higher sex drive than your husband and not being able to handle that, but I began to think differently yesterday when you started giving more details. I didn't want to put any undue suspicion in your mind if you were just insecure, but it looks a little more obvious that your husband is at least hiding something. Sadly, it does sound like he may be having an affair. I would think guys generally don't have secret credit cards to buy sex toys when they have wives that are very into sex themselves. I wouldn't doubt that credit card is hiding a lot of stuff. Can you get a copy of his TRW report? I'm not sure if it's legal, but check into that and do it if it is ok; you may also be able to get a copy of the specific charges that are on his mysterious card(s).

One thing, if he is cheating, please don't take it personally. It's really not a reflection on you, your looks or your sex life. It sounds like it really is about him and the fact that some guys just can't and don't stay faithful. Please don't get down on yourself about it. Now, the fact that your husband may be cheating is in itself a very sad thing. I guess you'll have to get the proof. As I usually suggest in these cases, hire a pi. Although your husband sounds close to caving. If he's gradually insulting you, etc... he may be ready to come clean. If he comes clean, I would suspect he may want out; Otherwise, he would try to hide it.

Anyway, who's to say what will happen. Cover yourself and your assets. Make sure he can't get at and take all the money. Just "prepare" yourself for the worst.

Good luck; keep us updated. If he is cheating, you deserve someone better.

    Bookmark   August 1, 2008 at 6:06PM
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Run,run, run away...I wouldn't trust this guy at all!! Sorry to be so blunt but seriously I read your posts and the just get scarier & stranger. You need to leave, he sounds not only untrustworthy but potentially dangerous..I could never sleep laying next to someone who spoke to me like that. I'd be afraid to leave my kids with a dude like this.

    Bookmark   August 1, 2008 at 7:20PM
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Been just lurking on this one but, you know, you're describing some pretty strange stuff. If you can't clear the air about this deal, I'd advise self-protection. This is no way to live. I don't share catlettuce's worry about the kids. Doesn't sound dangerous, just dysfunctional. IMHO trust is the ball game. With it, two people can accomplish a lot. Without it, you don't know what you're dealing with. If you can reach a new understanding/new beginning, OK. If not, be careful.

    Bookmark   August 3, 2008 at 6:35PM
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Maybe i am just stupid,but i dont think he is cheating. I mean we spent this weekend looking at house plans and put a bid on land to buy. He is always home with me everynight and on weekends if hes not I can find him at the ball field with guys - I do get a littele goofy bc he is working alot of overtime and i gets home late but usually he answers the phone always when i call. His check shows all the OT. Plus he tries hard to satisfy me anytime,,,, cont.

    Bookmark   August 4, 2008 at 8:30AM
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Im back what I was saying  he is home all the time Just took me on a nice vacation and then on another vacation with the kids. We go out to dinner and spend time together, but its like no connection there or spark anymore with him. I feel bad about this, but this weekend I took the cc from his wallet and called the 1800# and listened to all transactions and that was the only purchase except for some tickets he ordered. He told me he got the card b/c he does not want to use atm card when making online purchase bc its unsafe- he said he did not tell me b/c it was not a big deal he just got the card before we went on vacation last month to get Disney Tickets. He handles all the money and bills online and I just use my Checkbook and atm card and donÂt worry about the bills  all I do is go online and look at the ends and outs sometimes so for him to get a cc without telling me normally I would not even question him so I want to believe that really I do. I did keep the card info so that I can check again later. I hate being like this  I feel really bad. We had sex yesterday morning he was good for me and when finished he just want a H.J. and seemed like he actually was into that. Then lastnight we did again for like over an hour I got 3 OÂs and when I was good he was tired and ready for bed  I got upset and he said alright do me then  I tried everything and then finally w/ a h.j 30 minutes later he finished. Crazy  he is a man that can last forever  he has trained himself too, normally we will go for an hour both of us into it for an hour and then I get off about 3-5 times and I am done and then he gets off with me  he is great in bed and so dang sexy  tall, blue eyes , nice abs , just hot and he is a mailman  I love his uniform  I constantly tell him  he knows that I am crazy about him- he used to do me the same way and tell me those things but now he has stopped and he gets mad when I bring it up  I am so insecure now that its like I fish for attention or do little extra things to get his attention but its like he does not notice. Like the other day I said something about it and he said what you put on tank top Âbig deal- I am thinking I just got a Boob job last year and I think finally they are looking great  and with 4 kids no there is not a lot I can do but instead of wearing my scrubs all evening and I changed into a cute tank top to cook dinner  I know its not much but hey I thought he might like it This is what I think  I know he is looking at porn on the internet and well to a certain point I donÂt care but I think that he is bored with me and got his mind on those hot girls and maybe itÂs a turn on to him to do something different. I think maybe I just donÂt
do it for him anymore I have read that men that look at this stuff too much and take care of it then they can be satisfied anymore buy there partner. What should I do though  he denies and gets mad at me. He says he is just tired from working so much and stressed  but I say why stay up late on the computer and then delete everything before you go to bed. What should I think????? or do..

    Bookmark   August 4, 2008 at 10:15AM
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He's screwing around...this is from the "other woman"...me do it all the time. Not your DH woman, but someone's. Robert and I were together for 5 years, I broke it off in October. But, he worked all his hours too, but sometimes the commute took a little longer to get home. Mainly because of his visits to my place. Or he'd skip a class and spend that time with me. He would also do a lot of "errands" which would give him enough time to screw around with me...I'm not saying I was in the right. But, it sounds like the guy is cheating.

    Bookmark   January 28, 2009 at 11:23AM
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I hope you are not judging the quality of your marriage on sex. I know it is important, but there other important things like communication and respect for each other. Someone coming after me constantly would be a real turn off.

    Bookmark   January 28, 2009 at 1:47PM
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im cindy i am a girl of 25 old of edge and i need a man who is kind loving and good td married.

    Bookmark   March 12, 2011 at 10:27AM
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