Insensitive Husband update

peanutmomJuly 19, 2010

I posted on the forum some time ago about dh being insensitive to pain that I am experiencing during pregnancy. I was basically told to leave him and d@mn the consequences. For me, this is not an option. I am not one to run out when things get rough. My husband is not perfect and neither am I. I guess I just took things personally.

Dh got a quick lesson in pain due to some kidneys stones. He also got a stern lecture from the doctor about constant nearly uncontrollable pain during pregnancy. I also got some pain relief from physical therapy, massage therapy and the occasional pain killer. This is all doctor approved and monitored. It is nice to know that my marriage isn't over and that life can go on.

I also owe an apology to a few people on this forum. I believe they were giving me advice based on what info I gave and it is not their fault they had an incomplete or slanted picture of the situation. As my doctor has told me, the pain I have is uncontrollable, but I will have to learn to take a step back anyway. My life won't be over when the pregnancy is over, but the pain will ease when it is. So despite what I was advised to do. I am still here and not leaving, but the situation is a lot better. Sometimes life does change, but it takes time to make it happen and sometimes advice from people who know you best.

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suzieque

Thanks for the update, peanutmom. I appreciate it when people come back with an update, and yours is welcome.

From what you say, the issue of your husband not understanding or tolerating your pain is resolved; that's great and I'm glad for you in that. You'll remember that there were several other issues that you commented on, not just the pain one. Those who responded with a suggestion of getting out of the marriage (I think I'm one of them) did so not because of your husband's reaction to your pain alone, but because of all of the things you told us. I hope that you and he are working on those, too, because those are things, IMO, that will continue well past your pregnancy pain and are frighteningly indicative of more serious problems.

I'm glad for you that there has been progress and hope for continued forward movement for your family.

Suzieque

    Bookmark   July 19, 2010 at 9:28AM
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popi_gw

All the best to you peanutmom sometimes things do get better with better communication and empathetic thinking.

Things will get better for you, hang in there.

    Bookmark   July 19, 2010 at 11:48PM
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hitmark

Congratulations to your steps to the new life. That is really good to think and solve the problem with peaceful mind for both as joys of life can not come back. So one of them also have to scarify ones will to have long time relations.

    Bookmark   August 6, 2010 at 1:38AM
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