Texts, lies, and video editing
I'm noob, so please bear with me. My wife and I have been going through a rough patch for a while now. No big fights, but no passion either. I decided last month to make a lifestyle change. Dedicated myself to fitness and activity rather than beer and tv. All is going great so far. My wife has been on a health kick since the start of the year and continually encouraged me to get healthy with her. Took me a while, but I had to get there myself. Here is the issue. My wife is a flirt and I know this and I am reasonably able to cope with it until recently. New guy starts at her company in a position of power. I hear a lot about him for a couple of months from her, then in the last month absolutely nothing. Needless to say this peaks my interest as we do talk daily and at length about or jobs (same industry). She changed the passcode on her phone and told me did so without giving me the new code, then when my phone was unavailable and I needed to use her phone she did not tell me the code, but unlocked the phone and very quickly looked at something then handed it to me. Issue #1 is this normal to lock your SO out of your phone? It really makes me wonder. That is how we get to issue #2. I tell her I am concerned one night that she is too friendly with her coworker and she tells me I am crazy. I ask if I can look at her phone and get the "why are you so, jealous speech". I ask before I have her phone if she had texted this guy today. 3 times her answer is no. I then look at the phone and no texts that day from this guy. I then ask her 4 times if she would delete texts from this guy. 4 times no. It isn't until I tell her I need to be sure that is the truth and will be checking online to verify that fact that she admits she had contacted him and deleted the texts. 100 texts to be exact 50 each way that very evening. She claims she deleted and then lied because I would make a big deal about it. I told her the lying and coverup are far worse as now I can't trust her and have only my imagination as to the context of the conversation. I told her that I need time to rebuild trust and suggested counseling, but have yet to set an appointment. I also told her that for the time we are rebuilding the trust I would need access to her phone and she told me okay, grudgingly, but that she feels SOs should have their own space. Do you guys and gals agree with her? Anyone else restricted access from SOs phone? Am I right to be concerned that 100 texts in a night to a coworker is too much? Thanks for your time. Looking forward to your thoughts.