Is this normal?
So, for religious reasons, my husband and I do not use any form of contraception. I knew this was what we were planning, but I had no idea how hard it would be. We conceived our 1st the second month we were married. We conceived our 2nd when the 1st was only 7 months old. I hadn't adjusted to being married yet, let alone motherhood. (We've been married a little over 3 years now)So now, I am so cautious about getting pregnant, that I think too much about the possible ramifications and I don't enjoy sex like I used to. On top of that, I keep a 3 week window every month that we don't have intercourse in order to ensure pregnancy prevention.
The reason I ask if this is normal is because, my husband doesn't seem to struggle with "going without". Yes, we have two toddlers and he works 40 hours, but is that enough to kill his sex drive? When he does want it, he'll come up behind me and bump up against me, or grab me when I hit the sheets. This irritates/annoys me so much because I don't get any physical affection otherwise. It's all or nothing, and I hate that. Frankly, I'm not attracted to him anymore, and I think that it's because I feel like I'm just "take it or leave it" for him.
The irony of it is that I believed that abstaining every month for a week or so would make our sex life more exciting. But it seems like it's driving us apart. He grew up very conservative and though I share many of his beliefs, I'm not opposed to using condoms. But I don't know how to bring this up to him- I don't know if I even have the right to.
So, is it normal for him to not want it more, on the basis that he knows he's not getting it anyway? And what do you all think this practice would do for your marriage? Would throwing birth control out the window make you or break you? Anyone's opinions or experiences- I will be so grateful for.