Language of love

popi_gwJuly 5, 2013

How do you express your love for your spouse, apart from the obvious.

Do you hold hands, buy flowers, breakfast in bed..the list is endless.

How do stay consistent with your expression.

I heard an elderly couple chatting in a shop today and I was amazed at how lovingly they spoke to each other. I felt that sort of loving talk was lacking in my life.

The reason I ask ... I have been wondering about my own situation and why, after 30 years, things seem...well...drab.

Ideas please.

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emma

I did small things for him, put greetings cards in his lunch for example. One time I put a piece of wax paper in his sandwich and he acted like he didn't notice it when I asked him about it. When he retired all of the greeting cards were in the stuff he brought home from the plant. I encouraged him to buy tools because he was a little bit of a miser, and I knew we could afford it. I went boring places with him that I knew he wanted to go and I knew he wouldn't go alone. I never put him in the middle between his kids and me.

    Bookmark   July 5, 2013 at 11:55AM
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scarlett2001

I try to see things from his point of view and embrace all the parts of his personality, even the things about him that I don't like. He is an artist/photographer and bi-polar, so it has been a journey.

For example, when he ruined the dining room chairs to make a tower, I embraced it as a sculpture, not the loss of the chairs.

    Bookmark   July 9, 2013 at 4:05AM
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emma

Scarlett that does take patience, but it sounds scary to me.

    Bookmark   July 9, 2013 at 9:25AM
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scarlett2001

Sometimes it's scary as heII. Other times I have found that by embracing his world, I have enriched my own. (There is a lot of insanity in my family, so I am not scared by strange or weird behavior. He's not violent or anything. That would be the deal-breaker.)

But back to Popi's question, there is a book out there somewhere called something like 100 Ways to be Romantic. It had a lot of great small ideas for showing your love and affection in everyday ways. Sorry, I don't know the author.

    Bookmark   July 10, 2013 at 2:40AM
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emma

There are some mental problems in my family also and I have found some of them to be dangerous if they go off their meds. A cousin and my niece, my niece told me she was very dangerous if she doesn't take hers. She is one of the rare people that knows she needs them. My sister is schizophrenic which means a distorted mind. She can be looking for something and look right at it and can't see it. Some of the most decent kind people can turn mean when their mind betrays them.

Be careful.

    Bookmark   July 10, 2013 at 11:19AM
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scarlett2001

Thanks, I will keep that in mind, Emma.

Popi, I Googled 100 Ways to be Romantic and a lot of lists came up, so you don't need to buy the book.

    Bookmark   July 10, 2013 at 4:20PM
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popi_gw

Thanks Scarlett. Things are better here now I am happy to say. I have worked on improving my own actions, and that has paid off !

Take care gals.

    Bookmark   July 13, 2013 at 2:56AM
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scarlett2001

Good job, Popi!

    Bookmark   July 13, 2013 at 11:46PM
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