lonely in marriage
I have been married 7 years & have a 3yr old kid. We married through mutual acquaintance, there was never any chemistry between us. The reason we got married I would say is bcoz we did not find anyone else. We both are very different. I am very positive, hopeful, determined & social. He is my exact opposite. He is negative about everything. He gets upset about a scratch on the furniture or if the showerhead starts leaking. Its bcoz he does not know how to fix it & he does not like spending money to get it fixed. During our initial days, he used to get upset everytime we went grocery shopping & it was bcoz the grocery bill had doubled. For him, everything revolves around money. His idea of saving is to not spend at all. I come from a humble background too and I have never aimed for any extravagant spending but I don't think there's anything wrong in spending $15 on a top from Kohls. He drives me nuts with his stinginess. Anything that he speaks, would have the words money, expensive, unaffordable in it.
Secondly, he's very negative & always looks at things as if today is the doomsday even very simple situation. He would not open his mouth & ask for help. He does not communicate his feelings. He just shuts himself out. We have hardly anything to talk to each other bcoz he has never anything to say. All these years, I have been hoping to rectify these flaws. I have expressed to him several times about how suffocated I feel or what we could do to improve our relationship or given him ideas about how to come out of his shell. But he's a hard nut to crack.
He's not social. He does not have any close friends. He talks to people but never lets anyone get near him. I believe the idea behind this is that he does not want to spend money on entertaining guests. He's just like his mom.
On the positive side, he has held on to his job & earns well (obviously bcoz he loves money), he helps around the house, helps taking care of the kid. But here again, I feel he acts like a teenager. I don't think he was ever ready for the responsibilities of a married life. He's not the type who likes to take care of other people & is doing it right now just for the sake of it but not enjoying any part of it. He keeps yelling at our kid for small little things or gets upset with me everytime I ask him if we can repair/replace something or just any regular day to day stuff.
I am worried about our future. I look around me & see how couples share their decision making responsibility & play their parts. My husband hates making decisions & would just sit on the problem hoping it will go away on its own. This puts all the pressure on me as I have to worry about every single thing.
I just cannot take this anymore. I am educated & have a good job. I am wondering whether I should just call it quits as I see no hope of him changing or becoming responsible.
Sorry for such a long message but I have not spoken to anyone about this in all these years.
There's a second part but I'll wait till I get some feedback on this issue first.