Feel like I'm crazy

vconfusedwifeJune 15, 2013

Been married for almost 20 years , have 4 beautiful boys, in 2009 we lost our 2nd son to a car .
My husband seems to never be happy with me .
House is a mess, late on paying bills , talk to much on the phone , on computer to much , visit family and friends much , my gf's are always here , where are you , what took me to long , I talk to other ppl more then I talk to him, we never go anywheres together & ect !
And when I ask him what does he want from me he never gives me a straight answer . Refuses to go to counseling with me .
Last night went to brothers and all the kids played for hours and had such a good time , I get woke up at 1:30 am to be told I don't care about nothing !
He puts me down for me being me , not thinking the worse of ppl , for wanting to be in shape for my health . And he makes me so lost for words due to what he says .

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

"House is a mess, late on paying bills"- does he have a point? You can fix that and take away two reasons for complaint.
" I talk to other ppl more then I talk to him, we never go anywheres together "- you can change that too.
Whether he will go to counselling or not shouldn't stop you from going. At least it will help you clarify how _you_ feel about your marriage and whether you want to continue in it.

    Bookmark   June 15, 2013 at 11:33PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I'm so sorry.

Fault-finding, carping, waking a spouse in the middle of the night to fuss, etc, are all signs of an abusive partner & there's no cure for that.

but since it sounds like this didn't start until after you lost your dear son, I'm wondering if maybe both of you aren't still grieving & depressed.

Messy house, bills late, too much time on computer, etc, can all be signs of depression on your part, & the griping & never being satisfied can be a sign of unhappiness at "the new reality" on his part.

As Colleen said, you can try for counselling together, but if he won't go, go get some support for yourself anyway.

I wish you the best.

edited to add:
you might post on the Grieving Forum;
it's a little slow sometimes, but there's a lot of wisdom & compassion over there.

This post was edited by sylviatexas on Sun, Jun 16, 13 at 15:30

    Bookmark   June 16, 2013 at 3:29PM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
Getting a little help from your spouse
Well, the holidays are here and as usual, I'm worn...
Why do marriages go stale?
Senario: two people in their 50+ meet, both from loveless,...
Fight every time I have work/interview
What is the psychology behind this? We have both been...
Cheating Husband
I met my husband 23 years ago. We married 1.5 years...
Viagara - Sorry long
Here's my issue a few months back my hubby (45) had...
Sponsored Products
Ink and Ivy Sutton 3-piece Comforter Set
Metropolitan Chadbourne 20" Wide Chandelier
Lamps Plus
Couristan Marina Ibiza Area Rug - 89620110020311T
$59.00 | Hayneedle
Bruck | Ledra Ice Square
$237.00 | YLighting
MIO Alpha Continuous Heart Rate Sports Watch
$199.00 | FRONTGATE
New Palace Size Hand Knotted Wool Blue Kazak Geometric Rug H658
BH Sun Inc
Worthy Leather Bench - Brighton Black Black
Joybird Furniture
Black Modern Lamp: 6 in. Black Leather Table Lamp LT1025-BLK
$39.99 | Home Depot
People viewed this after searching for:
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™