Feel like I'm crazy

vconfusedwifeJune 15, 2013

Been married for almost 20 years , have 4 beautiful boys, in 2009 we lost our 2nd son to a car .
My husband seems to never be happy with me .
House is a mess, late on paying bills , talk to much on the phone , on computer to much , visit family and friends much , my gf's are always here , where are you , what took me to long , I talk to other ppl more then I talk to him, we never go anywheres together & ect !
And when I ask him what does he want from me he never gives me a straight answer . Refuses to go to counseling with me .
Last night went to brothers and all the kids played for hours and had such a good time , I get woke up at 1:30 am to be told I don't care about nothing !
He puts me down for me being me , not thinking the worse of ppl , for wanting to be in shape for my health . And he makes me so lost for words due to what he says .

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"House is a mess, late on paying bills"- does he have a point? You can fix that and take away two reasons for complaint.
" I talk to other ppl more then I talk to him, we never go anywheres together "- you can change that too.
Whether he will go to counselling or not shouldn't stop you from going. At least it will help you clarify how _you_ feel about your marriage and whether you want to continue in it.

    Bookmark   June 15, 2013 at 11:33PM
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I'm so sorry.

Fault-finding, carping, waking a spouse in the middle of the night to fuss, etc, are all signs of an abusive partner & there's no cure for that.

but since it sounds like this didn't start until after you lost your dear son, I'm wondering if maybe both of you aren't still grieving & depressed.

Messy house, bills late, too much time on computer, etc, can all be signs of depression on your part, & the griping & never being satisfied can be a sign of unhappiness at "the new reality" on his part.

As Colleen said, you can try for counselling together, but if he won't go, go get some support for yourself anyway.

I wish you the best.

edited to add:
you might post on the Grieving Forum;
it's a little slow sometimes, but there's a lot of wisdom & compassion over there.

This post was edited by sylviatexas on Sun, Jun 16, 13 at 15:30

    Bookmark   June 16, 2013 at 3:29PM
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