No intimacy in marriage... wife does not like the idea of sex
I have been married since over two years. We have been in a relationship for over 9 years now. My wife is very supportive to me and trust me I have tried to resolve this issue with what ever resources were available to me including a Doctor,Counsellor, relative, friend etc... trying an internet forum to try my luck. I am going to pour in whatever comes to my mind with the hope that I find some solution to this.
Even before marriage my wife never even liked kissing...nor the idea of sex cuddling fondling etc was fine for her. I thought things would be fine post marriage however they have got rather more complicated. We are 30 now.
I am really frustrated and unhappy about the fact that we lack intimacy. Infact these days I have stopped feeling the connection in between us. She is a wonderful person and I am very lucky to have her in my life. However some things are just beyond my control. I am trying hard to feel the same way for her. May be I am just to frustrated trying and failing over and over again. I have spoken with her and I know she gives her best... but it just doesn't come to her.
She says she doesn't like the thought of sex. She withdraws when we try kissing. (No bad breath issues here please) she loves me.... she is straight.... sex is painful for her though. . We have tried lubricants post consultation. ..we can technically go through the motions however its as good as dead.... there is no intimacy from her end at all.
Now the twist... I have never been with any other woman before... a few months back I met someone with whom I connected. We happened to get really attracted to each other and I could not control myself. We slept together... normally... kissing... intimacy ... it had everything that I was missing. I could not live with the guilt and called it off the very next day. The lady was very understanding and cooperated. Although the attraction remained we havent got intimate again. I know I dont love her... its just the physical attraction. But now it seems I am more attracted to her than my wife. I know this is wrong and really want our marriage to be a happy one. I want to say that I love my wife... but I doubt myself now... I miss the passion that I had.
How do I get things back on track? Hope to get some help.