Background- DH and I have been married 3 yrs. He has a large extended family,mine is tiny. We attend dozens of social events for his Mom, sibs, nieces and nephews, etc. Every major Holiday is spent with HIS family. I have given up trying to plan something for just US/kids. My MIL will trump me every time.
For the past year, I have had ONE date planned, a wedding reception, for one of my two cousins.The wedding was out of state, and only immediate family was invited. This will be the first event on my side of the family since OUR wedding.(He chose our wedding day, BTW.) As the date approaches, I have had to remind DH several times that any plans for summer must work around this one. We just sat down and scheduled summer activities for church and our anniversary two days ago, so this one date should be fresh in his mind.
Last night his sister came up to us and started talking about a great idea she had for an event revolving around MIL's wedding anniversary (FIL died many years ago.)SIL and BIL would like to renew their vows on that day. Great idea, very romantic and sentimental. Here's the problem: MIL's anniversay is on the same day as the reception. DH stood there dumbfounded when I said we already have plans for that day! He was totally oblivious, said I confused him when I said "wedding" instead of reception. He suggested we could do both, as we wouldn't need to leave for the reception until 4:30pm. The problem is, if there is a ceremony and luncheon, DH as usual would be up to his neck in setting up and cleaning up.Very seldom is there any event that he does not end up doing the majority of the work. I know we would end up late and tired. We also have to be up bright and early the next day, for church activities we do each and every Sunday.
I have chronic health problems, and really need to pace myself-which he sometimes forgets.I cannot handle two big events in one day, and he knows this.
Adding to this situation is the fact that DH's kids stay for only 5-6 weeks in the summer, and he tries to schedule too much into this timeframe. See my "workaholic Husband" post for further insight into my problem. I can predict the outcome of this over-scheduling, as I have seen it before. Everyone, including DH, ends up crabby and no one has a good time. I do not want to go to my cousin's reception tired and in a bad mood. I do not want to be staring at the clock at SIL's event either!
I feel bad because I think my SIL felt put off. It really is a good idea, I just felt like DH was blowing off the plans we've already made, or ignoring my response when he suggested we could do both. The fact that he acted like this date was wide open really ticked me off.
I guess I feel like MY plans are always decided by HIS and his family's.
Just venting and feeling frustrated.