I am 38yrs old, married to my husband for 12yr and have no kid, and I had an affair. there is no excusese for me to do this, but my husband wanted me to come back to him. I did come back to him, and he became a different man, he was very violence, verbally, and emotional abuse. I could not stand him, and move out to live by myself. however we still keep in touch.
after I moved out. He was so nice and kept asking me when I am going to come home. I told him that I don't want to come back to him. and he started to get mad and use the bad words like M... F....to yell at me, talk bad about my parents and my grand parents, and anybody related to me.
I totally shut off the phone, then he keep calling and leave messages that he was sorry about the verbally, and really sorry. he show up at my work place to ask me to go out for luch. basicly, he is very nice now to pay back the way that he verbally abuse. He is thinking buying a new car for me, he even discusses where to buy a home, have kid and start a family. he also give me his atm to use with pin#(and ofcouse he knew that I would'nt use it, that's why he gave it to me, I think)
the affair happended two years ago.
right now, I think I don't have any feeling for him at all, but sine he is very nice and discuss how to build a family just the way that I want it, and I feel like I just can't turn around when he is so nice to me. I am considering to go back to him, but I am so afraid the physically, verbally, and emotionally abuse will hapend again.
I discuss with him about the affair, and how worry I come back to him with his abusive. He said don't metion about the affair, and He was sorry that he abused me, and don't worry about it.
I am so scary of those abuse feeling. I affraid it will happend again when I come back to him.
any of you have this experience, please help me. what should I do? cry...cry....
ps. at the begining, I talked to my lover, and asked what I should do, He said if I don't marry him, go marry with somebody else, but don't go back to my husband because he knew MEN WILL NOT FORGIVE, EVEN THEY SAID SO. Maybe I am happy at the short begining, but later I WILL HAVE A SUFFER LIFE if I come back to my husband, HE SAID.
I ENDED WITH MY LOVER SHORTLY AFTER CAME BACK TO MY HUSBAND TILL NOW. NO MORE IN TOUCH.