falling for an engaged man

live_laughJune 8, 2011

I recently got separated from my husband, we were having problems and i made the decision. Before we got separated i started developing a friendship with a co-worker that has a girlfriend. We you used to flirt with each other and one day we kissed. I feel like i fell for him but after we kissed we stop flirting or talking because we were both in a relationship. However after i got separated from my husband we talked about having sex but then he didnt want to cuz of his girlfriend and i just told him i wanted to keep some distance. He have kept the distance but from time to time we txt each other. 3 days ago he txt me early in the morning saying he was thinking of me, tonight i found out he proposed his g/f and now they are engaged. It really bothers me that he txt me when he was going to get engaged cuz i feel i have feelings for him

most of our conversations have been by txt messages. I want to talk to him and tell him to stay away from me and that i dont want to be his friend or anything any more. but i feel i need to have a conversation face to face so i can have some closure. I dont know what to say or if it is right from me to ask him to have a conversation face to face. Please any advice on what to do?

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asolo

Don't text. Don't write. Don't call. Don't talk. You do NOT need "closure". You already know everything you need to know. It was interesting for a while but now its dead, gone, kaput. Face front and move on. Be professional in your workplace and ignore the rest. Your "feelings" will pass with time.

    Bookmark   June 8, 2011 at 11:13AM
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sweeby

Ditto Asolo -- This guy is a cheater and a player. He's not relationship material, and the less of a social relationship you have with him, the happier you will be over the long run.

    Bookmark   June 8, 2011 at 1:22PM
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colleenoz

Ditto what asolo and sweeby said. You sound quite young. Clearly this man is not the faithful type, since he was dallying with you while dating someone else. And even when he was proposing to his fiancee, he was texting you.
Put yourself in the other girl's shoes. How would you feel if you found out? If you keep going down the path you have chosen, you well may, as no doubt he would be dating you and dallying with someone else. If he will do it to one girl he'll do it to you, hon.
Ignore any texts he sends, just delete them, Don't reply. Don't give him ANY encouragement. Avoid him if possible. Cut him right off- you don't need this grief.

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 4:56AM
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suzieque

You wanting to have a face-to-face indicates to me that you just want to see him. If you really don't want him in your lfe (which would be an excellent call!), just don't respond. Ignore everything about him.

He's a loser. And you may be, too, if you pursue it (even if you fake it by saying you just wanted to tell him you're not interested). So - stay away, he can wreck his other relationship on his own, you go get your own life together without a loser, cheater, involved.

    Bookmark   June 10, 2011 at 2:34PM
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