Abuse or am I overreacting?
Hope someone can shed some light on my situation.
I am a freelace artist & for the past 3 years my boyfriend has been pushing me to break into comics. He loves comics & really wants to break in as a writer. It's an extremely difficult field to get into and I feel being an artist is hard, especially when he yells at me constantly about the way I'm drawing. He gets furious and blows up if I draw a finger wrong or anything. I mentioned to him that doing the art is stressing me out & perhaps I should consider getting a job so I can make more money. He then gets angry & says I'm too stupid to get a 'real' job & doing art is my only option. He threatens to throw me out on the streets or make me have unwanted anal sex if I don't draw everything perfect. He insists that I'm not trying to draw correctly and thus I don't care about him, which makes me feel aweful. One minute he says I'm making his life miserable, then he'll say he likes me the next. I'm confused. Is this my fault or is my b/f being unrealistic?
Also, he has gotten to where every time I do something wrong he wants to 'discipline me' by letting him have anal sex with me (which hurts and I do not like). It's always over silly little stuff too. For instance, if I draw a picture wrong he freaks out or if I talk back to him I get asked why I'm talking back. I
don't know what else to do, so I just let him do it to get it over
with. He says that when I let him `discipline me' it's me showing
him that I'm truly sorry for what I have done. So I do it to try & make it better, but things only get worse. He's hot tempered about everything and when he gets angry about something I did he yells at me and calls me names such as jack@$$, moron, dumb@$$, bi^&h & stupid c*nt.
My question is, why does he treat me this way? Could it be because I push his buttons or deserve it somehow? Would there be any
justification to his actions? I just need to know if it's me so I can fix it.
Thanks for taking the time to read and for any advice you can give.