Angry at MIL!!!!!
My inlaws live 5 mins up the road. I've been together with FDH for almost 5 years now. Over time I've learned that my MIL is not that 'into things'. Anything! She's never really interested in other people, including FDH, FDH's kids, me or even her own husband!
I've been feeling annoyed about it but I'm pretty sure she might be depressed and unhappy with her life so I'm trying to make the best of it.
Whenever we ask her for a favor she'll make sure we'll know it's a real hassle, so we don't ask her anymore if we can help it.
Not that we asked her so much before, maybe to babysit the grandkids one day in the holidays and sometimes to pick up SD11 from school (maybe once a fortnight) or to feed the dog one night when we go away for the weekend (total of 4 nights in the past 4 years).So I don't feel we 'over asked' her. Since MIL is not working and only goes to knitting classes on a Tuesday morning it's not as if we interrupt her busy schedule either.
But she gives us the vibe so we try and keep asking her for a favor to an absolute minimum now. The dog goes to a kennel when we go away and we do not ask her to have the kids for a day or two in the holidays anymore. And we haven't been mean about it either. She's just not that into it and so we find other solutions. However it has affected me in a different way where I'm not that inclined to go out of my way for her anymore either. We don't invite them as much as we used to, mind you they still come around at least once a fortnight if not twice. MIL likes to point out that it's very important for her to see HER grandkids. I find that hard to believe since she doesn't show that interest apart from telling us that she does. I sometimes get irritated with it because she seems insincere. Of course she's noticed that and I'm not proud of it so I try and do better, but it's not always easy.
So last Monday my FDH got a phonecall from MIL with request if HE could come around. Just him. Hmm ok....
When he came back an hour later he told me that MIL has a problem; she does not feel welcome at our home.
I lost my cool completely and we had a big argument. How dare she go to FDH and exclude me?? How is it supposed to make me feel that she's excluded me from the conversation? And why don't I get a bit more credit?
All questions you guys can only guess about the answers too, so I want to talk to her about it, which is best anyway. I want us all to get along and I've always tried to make the best of it. We are not best of friends but now she's really p*ssed me off. Usually I don't let things fester and I'll take some action, but this time I just can't. If MIL is not going to approach me than we are going to have awkward times because I'm just too annoyed to approach her. She can talk to me when she's ready, right?