Another poor soul in need of advice...
Hello everyone, I am new here. I will tell you a little about myself and my husband so that you might better understand my situation.
I am 20 years old. My husband is also 20. We were married in June 2006 after 4 years of dating. We met each other in high school. We both are going to college as full time students. My husband works two jobs as a pizza maker and a waiter. He has clearly stated to me that he wishes for me to stay at home and to not worry about working a job. So, while he is at work, I stay home and tidy up things. I don't go anywhere as we only have one car and he takes it to and from his jobs. Bills are not much of a problem as we were lucky to receive student financial aide for our schooling and have had enough money left over to cover our rent for both semesters we have been living here. School just completed today, so we will be receiving another bout of financial aide to cover our schooling and rent for our next school year. Basically, other than the stress of his working two different jobs, we are really living a wonderfully blessed, carefree life.
The problem remains as follows:
My husband is a young male with raging hormones. I am a young female who has hardly any sex drive at all. These two problems clash like clouds in a storm, creating much lightning and thunder.
I feel as if I am the one to blame. I am just simply not interested in sex and never really have been. I am on the pill, but have switched perscriptions to see if the different hormone balances might help me. My husband tries to be romantic to me; he brings me flowers for no reason at all, he plays soft piano music on our stero and invites me to dance with him, he takes me out to eat at nice resturaunts several times a month, he takes me to see movies at the way too high priced movie theater, he makes me laugh every single day without end. Basically, he is perfect to me.
I love him very, very much. He is my best friend and I think he is the most handsome man in the world. But I am just not interested in sex.
Many times, I think in the back of my mind that when we are out on a date, he is just trying to butter me up so that he can get to me when we get home. I try not to think of it that way, it's just not fair, I know. He might be trying to make the night a nice one, but in all honesty, he is just being a wonderful husband to me.
We will have a wonderful night out in town and I will be as happy as I could possibly be. But as soon as we step into our home, my mood drops. I immediately begin to dread his sweet advances. I want to love his advances and try to get into it, but I just can't seem to be able to.
I have tried to just jump right in and make myself enjoy sex, but I can't. One of my other problems is that I have never gotten "there" with him. And believe me, we've tried a lot of different ways to try to get me there, but it just does not work.
I'm at a loss here. I feel like I am letting my wonderful husband down. I have considered talking to a therapist, but thought I might seek advice on the Internet, first.
So please, help one more poor soul figure out what in the world is wrong! Thank you so much for your time!