Here's an odd problem...
I guess this is a "marriage" thing. It wouldn't be happening if I weren't married to the guy. This is the deal:
My dh has this old friend (brother of a former girlfriend of his from waaaaaaaaaaaay back). They were buddies in Viet Nam even though (let's call him) D was military and dh was civilian. And D comes to visit us EVERY spring (long story). For at least a month and a half. Usually longer.
Normally, I get along with him just fine. As house guests go he could be lots worse. He actually does more housework than dh, by far. He does drink a lot but he buys his own and before that sets in each afternoon he gets a lot of helpful things done "for his buddy," my dh.
So. He has been here since early April and lately he and dh have been spending a lot of time out in the garage together. They work on projects and then kick back out there. That's fine with me for the most part. But somehow they are starting to act like little boys who don't want the "girl" in the clubhouse. (Er...I'm the girl. Even though I'm 56.) Suddenly, D is acting VERY disrespectful toward me, as if I were weakminded somehow and don't really belong here. He "explains" to me in slow, careful, short words what is wrong with just about everything I say. And he never misses an opportunity to "explain" to me that this house/property/dogs/vehicles/everything belongs to dh and that dh has complete control and say so over it. (Remember, he just got through telling me what is wrong with my opinions.)
Well, the fact is that dh wouldn't have this place if he hadn't married me. It was MY money that paid for it for the most part. When I met dh he was living in an apartment from pay check to pay check and I owned a house outright.
I don't know whether this is coming through D from dh or if it's his own testosterone induced idea. But it is getting on my very last nerve.
So, am I nuts for resenting the bejeebers out of being expected to come home from a full time job, listen to this racket, and cook a meal for these "boys"? I ask for input on what they would like - NONE. And then I buy something only to find out D has bought something different that I'm expected to cook. Etc. Etc. Etc.
What is going ON? Dh and I have our own problems I'll grant ya - and I don't know how much of that he has shared with his old buddy. Or how he may have slanted it. But as far as I'm concerned, this is MY house too and the only life I have at the moment and, frankly, I'd like to have it back.
So what do I do? Tell dh how I feel? I'm not at all sure he would care. That could definitely backfire. Tell D how I feel? That would almost certainly backfire. What?