Anyone feel like this?

cheerful1_gwSeptember 4, 2007

On another website forum, a poster said she's like 2 separate people at war with each other. Sounds just like me right now. It feels like the good witch is fighting the bad witch, and I don't know who's going to win. I never wanted to say this to anyone, because they'd think I was crazy! I don't think I'm crazy, just in menopause!

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hunter_tx

Yes, I have felt like that, and still do from time to time, but I think it's a problem with some us who have perfectionistic tendencies. It's something I have worked very dilligently to correct. It seems not to lie in trying to "fix" the bad witch or ignore her, but in realizing she is there, accepting her, and realizing that she can be your friend rather than your foe. I tried keeping her in the closet, but she just insists on coming out from time to time. (laughing) Does this make any sense, or am I just crazy? :)

Mrs H

    Bookmark   September 5, 2007 at 5:33PM
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hunter_tx

Now, Cheerful1, on a more serious note, yes I have had a problem similar to what you describe off and on for about 10 years. I would go from feeling the worthlessness of depression and extreme anxiety to feeling perfectly fine. Fortunately, the fine lasted much longer than the bad. Now, for the past two years, a milder form of what I would call depression, but not severe, has been the case. It really really bothered me for quite some time. I tried acting like it wasn't there and I tried to keep a stiff chin. I finally got to the point where I had to come to some kind of peace with it. That's not to say that I totally love it, but it has spurred me to search for understanding and acceptance of it. A few months ago, I ran across this book that I never really thought would be that good, but I loved the author's previous book. The book is The Mermaid Chair. It's about a woman having basically a mid-life crisis and what she experiences. I'm sure it's fiction, but the story was so possible, that I found it intriguing. This book led me into doing further reading, not about mid-life problems, but about more serious issues in what I would call the "self-help" area. I have far to go in trying to understand all the dynamics, but it has taught me to be much more accepting of my faults and to even look for the value in them. I no longer despise myself, although I feel bad if I let emotional issues get too out of hand and spout off something that I will regret later. Anyway, alot of it for me is in accepting my faults and even smiling at them from time to time. I hope I'm not sounding too silly, but this is the only way I know to say it. I highly recommend books by Thomas Moore if you have depressive tendencies. He has a religious background, and I am not so, but his books are full of insight that has been very helpful to me. Some of his writing is a little too far-out for me to really jive with, but a couple of his books have been gifts to myself, and I wouldn't do without them.
Mrs H

    Bookmark   September 5, 2007 at 6:07PM
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cheerful1_gw

Mrs. H - thanks for your input. I understand what you're saying and going through. I've definitely spouted things I've regretted later, but it seems hard to keep them in. I'm the type to do "homework" on things I want to understand more. It's an ongoing process. I'd like to keep the "bad witch" in the closet more, but as you said, it has to be a matter of acceptance. Once I accept myself, others will.

    Bookmark   September 6, 2007 at 7:20AM
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