new to forums & menopause & scared

joolsy42September 12, 2007

I am 45 in the throws of perimenopause (for two years now!) and scared to death, because of a stroke I had 5 years ago I have to get through this thing with no hormonal help,I realize many go through this with no drugs, but I get so wildly crazy at times I'm really very scared.

My family doc wrote me a script for Zoloft but this offended me and due to certain side effects I won't take it.

My hubby even said no on the zoloft, it wasn't worth the side effects, he'd put up with the mood swings! My daughter calls me the mom drama queen, I get so dramatic over things, so anxious & upset. To think I have to live like this for several more years, I wonder can I? Will my marriage survive it? It's so scary. My mom is no help at all! I have no friends going through this either.

Does every woman have to travel this road alone? Why can't men understand it? My hubby says if you know it's hormones, just get over it!

This is all so depressing.

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Wow, why didnt I think of "just getting over it". Tell it to my dry vagina!. We are here to listen joolsy42. It doesnt help to vent to those that dont understand, and we have heard it all, so let it all out whenever you want. Shotzy

    Bookmark   September 12, 2007 at 1:09PM
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I so sympathize. I suspect some of it has to do with pent up emotions that we have suppressed over the years while we were busy getting married, having kids, and working. We stayed so focused on doing the right and proper things and trying to make no mistakes that we failed to be human. Have you ever noticed how men generally blow off steam often but easy? We hold it all in until it blows a gasket, lol. Just ask DH. He can tell you :)

Hang in there. It may be a wild rough ride, so get all out of it that you can.
Mrs H

    Bookmark   September 12, 2007 at 1:17PM
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I can sympathize and empathize with you. I'm 52, and have been menopausal for at least a year, possibly more. I sometimes fear for my marriage because of how I feel and how my husband reacts, but we'll live through it. Feel free to say whatever you want here; we're here to listen and support. Men definitely do not "get it".

    Bookmark   September 12, 2007 at 1:49PM
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I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Have you tried any of the natural remedies? like soy?

Also, there are other things the doctor could offer you besides zoloft. Ask him what else there is that would be safe for you to take and remember that if you have side effects, you can stop taking it. You don't sign a contract to take up the whole prescription. Please talk to your doctor and tell him the problems you're having and how you don't have any support. I'm sure there is something that can be done for you. Please don't give up hope. You're not alone. There are people who understand. There is something that will be safe and make you feel better. We're all different and need different things to help us get through this trying time. Post here as often as you like. You're among friends who understand here.


    Bookmark   September 12, 2007 at 10:01PM
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joolsy, you are among friends and fellow change-of-life mates.

I've been living the same roller coaster as you for the past 10 months. As the other learned women here have already written, we're here to listen and share. My H can't quite grasp what's going on with me either so he just pretends it's not happening and he treads very carefully around here now making every effort to not upset me.

The only concrete advice I can offer is, on those days where your anxiety level is peaked and you are very brittle emotionally, just keep telling yourself that it won't last very long and you just need to concentrate on being as positive as you can be. It's hard, I know. When this first started with me I thought I was on the verge of a breakdown because my emotion's were all over the place and I didn't know what had happened to change me so. And there are still days where I seriously wonder if I've losing my mind or is it *just* hormonal?!!

It really helped me to calm myself and not be quite as worried about my mental state once I realized I was perimenopausal and that is what I was experiencing.

Like I said before, when I'm having a really bad day I focus on the fact that maybe tomorrow I will be normal again and if not tomorrow, the next day. It can get depressing. I sometimes get depressed and worried because I have no control over these feelings and I just have to ride it out until it passes. Melancholy is probably a better word to describe it.

I had an extremely heightened day today. When I talked to people my mouth was running 100 miles an hour and I could not calm myself down all day. My heart was racing and I couldn't sit still. When I finally got home today I headed right to a hot bath and stayed in there for an hour, bathroom door locked so kids couldn't come in and bother me.

It did the trick I was a new person two hours later and calmly worked through homework and music lessons this evening.

    Bookmark   September 14, 2007 at 10:27PM
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I am also refusing to take HRT if at all possible. I'm 52 and been having hot flashes, night sweats and terrible mood swings for approximately the last 3 years. My periods still come - sometimes regularly and sometimes irregularly. I keep wondering when is this going to end? I can't take ADs because of the side effects (makes my heart race dangerously fast) and I'm afraid to take HRT, to be honest. I am prone to migraines and I'm afraid HRTs will make them worse, among other things. They are already bad enough, to say the least. Also, with all the stuff you hear lately about HRTs maybe not being as safe as they'd once thought - forget it. Don't want the risk. So I'm going to try to make it without them. But I can totally sympathize with you about the emotions and anxiety. I have to take Xanax once or twice a day lately, and am hoping I can taper back when menopause finally completes.


    Bookmark   September 19, 2007 at 2:51PM
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