Is Time Apart Good For YOUR Marriage?

Carlotta_BullMay 25, 2002

When we first married, my husband had to go away to school two weeks a year (spring & fall). I LIKED it, because there was an excitement in our relationship when he left & returned that stayed with us.

About 3 years ago, his duties changed & he quit doing it. I HATED him not being gone for those two weeks & it seemed like things got really stale & strained.

He's back to twice yearly school now. He just got back from a week at school & I was SO EXCITED when I was waiting at the airport to pick him up.

Am I wierd or do others feel the same way?

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twelvepole

Absence makes the heart grow fonder!

    Bookmark   May 25, 2002 at 7:02PM
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LianneNJ

I used to hate it when DH worked on saturday's, couldn't wait for him to come home....but then once he was home, i'd wish he was still at work...now he's always home and i really, really miss my alone time
My dearest girl friend feels the same way about her DH, she misses him when he's at work until 10-11pm every night and often on saturdays too, but then when he's home, she wishes he was at work!

    Bookmark   May 28, 2002 at 3:04PM
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lpolk

I hate being apart from my husband, but travel/family separates us a few times a year just for a couple days at a time. I agree, the "homecoming" sort of makes up for the absence and we are always more loving after an absence then during our day to day - we have thrilling airport kisses that are fun :P. It kind of makes things exciting. But a good friend of mine has her husband away in the reserves, waiting to hear if we invade iraq which will separate them for two years. That makes me cherish the fact that my husband is with me.

    Bookmark   May 28, 2002 at 4:21PM
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phyllis_philodendron

I spent all that time apart when we were dating - long distance, twice! It was awful, heartwrenching - I hated it. You would prepare for this one weekend together and then in a flash it's over with.

Sometimes I will go home to visit family in Ohio - and when I come back from even two or three days DH is blubbering all over the place about how much he missed me. When he's gone he'll call me every night. When he's here I still do my things, like sewing, etc. while he's teaching all day (since I don't work). When he is home for the summer it's nice to have time together.

I would never go back to the long distance thing ever again...I don't know how women can stand it when their husbands are gone for long periods of time on business or for the military, etc.

    Bookmark   May 28, 2002 at 9:39PM
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waddles28

I think some time away is great for the relationship. My DH will go away for a weekend maybe twice a year and I enjoy the time that he is gone and a weekend is not that long. We also have a girls campout once a year when there is no kids and no males allowed. I enjoy that weekend very much but still love to come home.

I think that it is healthy for the relationship to have your "own" time once in awhile. It does make the time that you spend together all the more special.

    Bookmark   May 29, 2002 at 9:34AM
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bill_h

due to our jobs we are apart so much, i guess we are just used to it. but we get along great when we have time togeather. i dont think it makes much difference.

    Bookmark   May 29, 2002 at 8:36PM
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RosieL

Never. Been married for 28 years. If you enjoy your time more apart than together ... what does that say? MY DH traveled for his job - 2 -3 days a week. Every time he left _ I thought I would die of loneliness. Never did. .... But .... when our children were born (20 years ago) the company gave him an offer of making $40,000 more per year than what he was earning and he refused. Money wasn't everything and our life as a family is all. Might that be the reason I love him to death???? We have a wonderful life without what that company thought was worth our while!!! WE meant more!!

    Bookmark   May 30, 2002 at 10:43AM
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Jonesy

It helps me, so that is good for the marriage. My husband wants me to go everyone he goes and vice versa, he would be taking me to the beauty shop and wait in the car if I let him. I need time alone, when I return I am cheerful and restored.

    Bookmark   October 3, 2002 at 12:10AM
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Mausie

DH and I did the long-distance thing for the first two years we were together, and it was great. I was in school, and it helped me stay focused. But the best part was that every moment we WERE together was extra-special. Plus I have a whole trunk full of wonderful letters that I love to look back on. Now we are apart for a couple of days probably once every month or every other month, it's nice to have a little alone time and again, there's nothing better than the anticipation of him coming home... painting my toe nails, making his favorite dinner, making sure everything is clean, putting on a cute outfit and the glorious waiting! Yes, I think it's good, although I would not want to go back to being apart as much as were at the beginning.

    Bookmark   October 14, 2002 at 7:29PM
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Kevin_S

No.....she is my very best friend. Don't want to stray too far from her. I would miss her smell to much.

    Bookmark   October 15, 2002 at 3:59AM
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cattknap

After 25 years of marriage, my heart still does flip-flops when I think of my husband. We are both unhappy when we are apart for more than a night or two. I flew to Phoenix from L.A. a few months ago to see my son and his family. After 5 days, my husband called me early one morning and tenderly told me, "I miss you so much. You've been gone long enough, I'm coming to get you - I'll be there in 5 hours." And he did. We drove home the same day and stopped and shopped and visited the whole way home....didn't use my airplane ticket. I can't imagine wanting my husband to be gone so I could miss him - seems very immature and artificial to me.
Cathleen

    Bookmark   November 7, 2002 at 6:54AM
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akaDenise

No, long periods apart just suck. My beloved had to leave early this morning because there was an emergency at work. So our precious weekend together was cut short. I know he'll be home again next Friday, and we're both strong people, but this sure doesn't feel good to us. Come February, I can put sell the house and join him but it's going to be a long cold winter.

    Bookmark   November 10, 2002 at 1:13PM
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