Mother-In-laws...how is yours? (vent, kinda)
I see lots of women on the Internet in real life that have terrible problems with their in-laws. I usually am fine with my future mother-in-law but sometimes I could scream. Most times we don't see her very often but then we feel bad because our son needs to see his Grandma~he has 3 grandmothers, 2 great grands, 4 grandfathers, and 2 great grandfathers! Anyway, my MIL sometimes butts her nose in where it shouldn't be. Like somehow she knows how much we spend on things and how much our bills are and even how much my fiance' makes each pay check. She'll call and question if we really paid the bills because of something we bought and she just can't see how we could afford it (a lot of our bigger stuff we put on layaway or we would never be able to get it). It doesn't matter what my fiance' tells her, she believes what she wants to and she will kinda just ignore him and keep saying, "whatever". It really upsets me because don't you think we know what is going on with our bills and it's our problem? We are more financially stable now than we were in the past 4 years I have been with my fiance'. It's beena good 3 years since things got so tight we needed to ask for help and we learned a lesson after that.
The real thing that is bothering me about my MIL is some things she recently told me about myself and my fiance'. My fiance' was having some problems and thought he was unhappy here with me but he's fine now. He had some things that he needed to talk to me about instead of holding inside. His mother will tell you they grew up in a house where they were free to speak their mind but they best watch how they say it, however it's not that way at all. It's more of a you can bring it up but she'll tell you how it is and you best keep your mouth shut. She told me once that she and her husband have only fought once in the 20 years they've been married...you know why? Because FIL keeps his mouth shut and doesnt' speak up about anything no matter how upset or angry he is. My fiance' says it's because he knows he'll never win! So from all this, my fiance' grew up to be afraid to speak his mind and talk stuff out. Instead you hold it in, get really mad, blow up and don't talk for ever how long. He needed someone besides me to talk about what he was feeling and he thought his mother would be the best person for some reason. She ended up trashing him and sending him home mad at her. Then she called me the next day and preceeded to very nicely tell me she thinks I smother him and love him too much. I also need to get a job (I'm a SAHM) and do something else because I worry too much about our son, my fiance' and the house (what does she want me to worry about? This is my life and my family!) Then I was told I have a VERY low self esteem (she even called family members of mine and questioned them about my mental behavior and they're shocked she would do such a thing!!!!!!!) and I don't feel I do. I'm much better than I was back in high school but even then I wasn't so upset I couldn't deal with it on my own. I don't freak about going out in public and I feel good about myself. I think she thinks I have a low self esteem because I do care about how I look when I go out~she wears jeans and t-shirts everywhere~I fix my hair even if it's just a simple pull back~hers is long and she just washes, dries and lets it hang~I started wearing a little make-up~she wears none, etc. I also do care about how certain people see me. I don't want others to get the wrong impression of me but she'll just come right out and tell people she's a b*tch and she doesn't care. So I'm totally different than her, you could say. But that doesn't mean I have a low self esteem!I'm starting to question if it's her with the problems. Every time things are good and we're happy and fine, she tells us we aren't. I also learned during our little talk that she knows very little about her son. Like she tells everyone he's such a picky eater. Know what he doesn't like? Spaghetti and it's because they ate it at least once a week when he was a kid and he's sick of it! She says he hates being hugged, kissed or told that you love him. Not true! (Course I grew up in a family that said I love you daily, he hears it like once a year at his birthday and she thinks we're weird) There were many, many, many things she said about him that are not true. I'm realizing she didn't really pay attention to him and probably not the other boys either. My fiance' actually needed and wanted the attention, but she didn't give it so she says they don't like it.
The truly weird part is that the stuff she says I do too much of, is the stuff she complains to me that my one SIL doesn't do! She complains because SIL puts herself before her husband and kids, money is top priority and who cares about family, she doesn't clean, she doesn't trust her husband (MIL's son), doesn't allow him to do much else than go to work (I'm bad because I allow finance' to go hunting and play softball in the summer and I allow him to buy things he wants when we have the money) and doesn't really show that she loves him either! I don't think there is a way to please this woman. I mean, really, have you ever heard of someone complaining because there son is taken care of, loved, trusted and allowed to do things he likes? I'm just about ready to throw my hands up and tell her I'm done! Is she jealous of me?
Any one else have these problems? Or anything like it? I thought things were good until I was told by family that she called them up and some of the stuff she said!