Always has a solution, but never an answer
Things recently hit critical level. It led to me crying like an idiot while he stood there in shock, pretending he had NO idea why I was so upset. He says if I need help (housework, yardwork, whatever) to just ASK.
But when I do ask, he DOESN'T help. He either puts it off, promises to do more then doesn't, gets angry when I ask him to do specific things, or tells me something will change the situation when it won't.
For example. I have been really really sick (virus which led to double ear infections, dehydration, and exhaustion which was medically diagnosed). The doctor wanted me in the hospital, but I was worried that DH wouldn't be able to handle DD on his own and would send her to stay with MIL. I did not want that, so we came to the arrangment of diet and drinking so many ounces of fluid and resting. Literally doing nothing more strenuous than eating, bathing, etc. I could go to work for now because my job is sedentary, but even that was iffy.
The house fell apart. No groceries have been bought, nothing has been cleaned. I couldn't cook so he got take out every single night (and left the wrappers and bags sitting there).
I asked him to please at least clean the kitchen floor. Nothing was done for a few more days. I couldn't take it anymore, so tried giving him a little direction (he tends to get overwhelmed with tasks that seem more complicated than they are).
"Please clean the kitchen floor. It's easiest to start by picking things up, then sweep it, then wet swiffer it. Thank you for your wonderful help". Two days later, the floor has STILL not been swept, I have become a nag, and he still doesn't get it.
So I said we were going to get someone in every once in a while to help with the big cleaning (mopping floors, scrubbing tubs, etc.). His response? We don't need help. Other people can do their own housework, so we can to. If I need help with something just ask! Which led to me screaming at the top of my lungs "I am asking you, begging you, SWEEP THE G*****N FLOOR!". And that was it. Total breakdown over the stupid floor not being swept.
So, up all night talking, crying, and fighting. I feel like a wrung out dishrag. We had other issues before, which I think we were starting to work out....then I got sick. And I think I realized how much more I was doing, to sort of cover how much less he was doing. We decided to take a "break" and talk about it more after work today. But I do know that if the floor isn't swept I might have a nervous breakdown LOL.
Does anyone else feel that they just can't seem to keep up, and wonder how other people do it?