Is this temporary or is my life effectively over?

BubbblesAugust 28, 2014

I am 51 years old and I haven�t had a period for 4 months. I can�t sleep without sleeping tablets and I use pain killers that are too strong, too frequently. Every night I am exhusted by dinner time. My leisure activities mostly consist of falling asleep on the lounge. I still have so much I want to do with my life and I think I just have to accept that my dreams are just that, dreams. I don�t know how I can achieve anything in my current state. The days turn into weeks, the weeks into months and I get gradually less as a person.

I have a wonderful husband and 2 beautiful boys who are still quite young and deserve more of my energy. I have great friends and I try to keep myself engaged with hobbies and exercise but I have to really push myself and I don�t do it nearly enough.

I am taking thyroxin. It has helped a little but not as much as I had hoped. I have spoken to 2 different GPs who didn�t have any other ideas.

I am not depressed. I know what depression feels like and this isn't it, although obviously I am not particularly happy at the moment!

Does anyone out there have any ideas on what I can do? Is this temporary? Will I ever get my drive and energy back? I feel like my life is over.

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dirtyshoes

It does get better, Bubbbles. It may not seem like it would, but gradually the symptoms will fall by the way side. Your body is adjusting to making less/more hormones than it's used to. It goes haywire. I had so many symptoms it was unreal.

One of the first things I did was to look at my diet. What seemed fine before was not good for my body at menopause. I cut down on sugars, caffeine, white bread, Made sure I exercised every day...walking, gardening.

I was lucky to find a female GP and she was very understanding. I made it a point to find a woman after going to two male doctors, who both told me I was too young to be perimenopausal. What do they know! We know our own bodies and know when and what we are feeling.

Also, you may try some sort of yoga, ti chi, meditation etc. It does wonders whether your menopausal or not.

I hope you start to feel better soon. Don't get down on yourself. You will get through it and be just as active as before. Your life is not over. As soon as your hormones level out, you'll start to feel like yourself again.

Hang in there............know that it is temporary!

    Bookmark   August 28, 2014 at 9:49PM
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Bubbbles

Thanks Dirty Shoes,
I am so pleased to hear it is temporary! Thanks for your advice.

I am attending a yoga class once a week and I do find it useful but I have been doing that for years so I don't really know the effect on my current symptoms.

As for my diet, I had a reasonably good diet but I have recently changed it to include less carbs and sugar (not that I had a lot anyway) and more vegetables. This was mainly to address the weight issue. My body seems to have found a new equilibrium about 12kg heavier than I used to be. Not particularly satisfactory but since it is now stable, weight isn't my main concern at the moment. I have noticed my energy levels are better when I eat better.

I coudn't give up coffee, I am afraid. Sigh......It is one of the things that really does give me a boost and although I know it is temporary and I do limit it, I would go batty without that little daily boost!

Can't wait until this is over. Don't want to wish my life away but just really happy this fatigue won't go on forever!!!!

    Bookmark   August 29, 2014 at 3:43AM
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SlipstreamQueen

I'm 54 and have had quite severe menopausal symptoms since I had a partial hysterectomy (due to a fibroid the size of a grapefruit) at age 48. Since then, there were a few times I thought I was going to die from weird symptoms. This year my chronic headaches have evolved into a number of episodes of severe migraines. For years I've not been able to get a full night's sleep without a mild tranquilizer. The good news is that I have the support of a naturopathic doctor in addition to my family physician. I've been exercising regularly which has helped my arthritis symptoms immensely. My tolerance to caffeine is currently nil, so I opt for herbal tea. I suffer from anxiety and depression and I'm learning to turn my ANTS into CATS (automatic negative thinking into constructive automatic thinking) ...it takes time to re-train the brain. Guided meditation is also helpful - there's lots available on the Net. I do not respond well to any type of stress (coping with daily life is a challenge) but I refuse to take hormone replacement therapy. Instead I opt for herbal supplements such as ashwagandha, rhodiola and 5-HTP. Hot flushes are the least of my issues, but I admit waking up with a full-body sweat in the middle of the night is no fun at all. In addition to all this nonsense, I have food sensitivities and therefore, avoid highly processed foods. Also, I'm on a high protein diet and have vitamin B-12 injections once per week. Evidently, hope exists.

    Bookmark   August 30, 2014 at 10:26PM
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lpinkmountain

Well, my first thought was that it was thyroid because that was how I felt before I had my low thyroid diagnosed. Make sure you have your levels checked every six months because they can change during menopause. I hate it, but I have my blood tested every six months now, down from every year when I was in my mid 30's. Also, really try to get a full night's sleep. This can be a challenge during menopause and later in life. Exercise definitely helps. I find doing yoga before bed helps me relax and fall asleep. I also take a mix of calcium and magnesium (twice as much calcium as magnesium) and try and find calcium citrate or at least take the calcium with vitamin C for better absorption. I used to take 1500 mg. calcium as per the old recommendations but now I think it is something like 900, so I take less. I also have good luck with melatonin but I take the lowest dose possible and also don't take it for weeks at a time. Just occasionally, it works better that way. Also a glass of chamomile tea or catnip tea can be helpful. Just don't take it close to bed time. My biggest challenge to a good night's sleep nowdays is getting up to go to the bathroom! I have tried valarian too, before and it does work although again, not for everyday use. Catnip and chamomile are mild and relatively safe as far as I know. Also be sure to go to bed the same time every night and sleep in a dark quiet room with no distractions, if possible. Hope this helps. A short walk every day does help with tiredness. Also ramping up the protein and minimizing refined carbs in your diet, which it sounds like you are doing. My tiredness comes and goes.

    Bookmark   September 21, 2014 at 7:46PM
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lpinkmountain

Oh, and I forgot to mention, make sure your muli vitamin regime includes vitamin D. Doctors are big on that deficiency now. I can't afford the test, but a lot of folks in the North have low levels. I've been a northerner all my life so I make sure to get enough vit. D and sun exposure whenever I can (with sunscreen of course!).

    Bookmark   September 21, 2014 at 8:23PM
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d.dee

Hey all..
I agree with dirty pin and slip..hi there !

i wonder too if i will get back to my regular self.
I see older women doing so much more than me.

I have not been able to work in 4 years and even the house work is hard to keep up with.
what? no more gardening.
I can't go out in the cold. (used to ski)
Lots of pain and fatigue. It started 3 years ago.

Hard to imagine that I will never be able to grow veggies freeze and can like i used to..

But maybe this next part of life after the challenge of menopause will be of doing other things.
Maybe i raked enough leaves in my life..stacked my last cord of wood..someone else, younger, will do it and i will do something new that is not so physical.

hate the mood swings and negative thoughts.
hot/cold
hungry/not hungry
tired more tired
migraines insomnia
bone muscle spine joint neck pain. (like i feel i need to wear a neck collar but get in bed and prop my head up. )

it is challenging to say the least.

    Bookmark   November 19, 2014 at 12:48AM
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Pattywack

I am so glad to have come across this site. For me this is a very tough time. I am 56 and peri-menopausal. The last few months have been horrible. So many unpleasant things happening. The worst thing, of the many things, is the anxiety and panic. Having been prone to this all my adult life, it has increased with an vengeance. The slightest bit of stress sets it off. Stressors that are just normal life things. The doom and gloom feelings, mind going crazy with negativity and the what ifs, the body aches, night sweats, eye twitching, digestive issues, weepy. I have been on bio identical progesterone since I was 45. I use all sorts of homeopathic remedies to try and calm down. I just want it all to go away. I have not doctored much, I am more of a self help person, but I am feeling the need to try and get some more help. I use naturopathic medicine. It is just nice to read the posts here to see that I am sort of "normal". It is also interesting how you can just switch so fast from good to bad and bad to good. I am thankful for the good days.

    Bookmark   January 5, 2015 at 12:19AM
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Pattywack

I am so glad to have come across this site. For me this is a very tough time. I am 56 and peri-menopausal. The last few months have been horrible. So many unpleasant things happening. The worst thing, of the many things, is the anxiety and panic. Having been prone to this all my adult life, it has increased with an vengeance. The slightest bit of stress sets it off. Stressors that are just normal life things. The doom and gloom feelings, mind going crazy with negativity and the what ifs, the body aches, night sweats, eye twitching, digestive issues, weepy. I have been on bio identical progesterone since I was 45. I use all sorts of homeopathic remedies to try and calm down. I just want it all to go away. I have not doctored much, I am more of a self help person, but I am feeling the need to try and get some more help. I use naturopathic medicine. It is just nice to read the posts here to see that I am sort of "normal". It is also interesting how you can just switch so fast from good to bad and bad to good. I am thankful for the good days.

    Bookmark   January 5, 2015 at 12:20AM
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Bubbbles

OP here.
Just thought I would let you know, I am slightly improved. That may be due to having a break at Christmas or the fact that my periods started again don't know. I do know that when I wrote the original post I was doing the 5:2 diet. I stopped it and my cycle came back on track and has been like clockwork since then, although period pain seems to be an issue now, which it never was before.

I have no idea why the 5:2 diet stopped my periods except that I am obviously close to menopause. I know very thin or athletic women have amenorea but my understanding is that it is triggered by a very low BMI which I can assure you is not a problem with me. My BMI is about 26 so I don't understand what happened there but I am taking the message that the 5:2 diet is not for me.

    Bookmark   January 16, 2015 at 12:20AM
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