a third way of communicating?
DH said part of the reason he wasn't at his best today was because he was so stressed out this morning. We were both tense. I'm trying to work out what to say because this could become a really long story. Alright, maybe I'll just say that I understand I don't help him to be his best when I yell at him. And he didn't blame me completely. But when I said sometimes I need to make myself heard he said you can just tell me these things calmly. But he mostly doesn't hear when he is told calmly. In one ear and out the other. Or he just says don't worry about it. If calmly worked I wouldn't be trying anything else. I know the yelling rarely works either. Sometimes it does have an immediate effect when that's what is needed and sometimes it helps me let off steam but as an overall communication strategy it is really bad. But like I said, calmly doesn't work usually either, and if it does it's often temporary. So what else is there? What else is there?