Body image affecting sex life....help!!!
Have you ever looked at yourself and suddenly become aware of all your flaws? Like suddenly the mirror has turned against you and youÃ¯Â¿Â½re looking at your slightly more unflattering twin? Surely that canÃ¯Â¿Â½t be you! Where did those stretch marks come from? And oh great gods those canÃ¯Â¿Â½t beÃ¯Â¿Â½no waitÃ¯Â¿Â½they are! Love handles! Damn you oh cursed mirror!
Well thatÃ¯Â¿Â½s me and a year ago I was a size six and now looking into that cursed mirror IÃ¯Â¿Â½m a size twelve. Granted I wasnÃ¯Â¿Â½t exactly my healthiest at that weight. Why? Well you see losing all that weight wasnÃ¯Â¿Â½t exactly intentional and up until that point I had always been a size twelve (stupid number). I got that way because I was working graveyard. Oh and IÃ¯Â¿Â½m talking 9pm to 5am in the morning. How I even got in a relationship. Got engaged and married is beyond me. Seriously, anyway by that time I had lost so much weight my family and fiancÃ¯Â¿Â½ (at that time anyway) were extremely concerned.
But what did I care? I was sexy! Confident! Who cared if I was over worked and over stressed and my DDs had turned into Cs? Well everybodyÃ¯Â¿Â½except me. Cut to a year later and IÃ¯Â¿Â½m not only unemployed, healthy, and happily married but back to that dreaded size twelve. And while I had to unhappily let all of my skinny clothes go so did my confidence and libido. While my husband bless his heart loves my curves and my breasts I am now not only shy but embarrassed to be seen all natural in front of him. This is affecting our love life and IÃ¯Â¿Â½m not sure how to change it.
ItÃ¯Â¿Â½s not that I donÃ¯Â¿Â½t want to have "relations" but once we get into it I over think. Get shy and suddenly the mood is out the window. HeÃ¯Â¿Â½s very understanding but I can see this is affecting him too. In fact IÃ¯Â¿Â½m afraid that IÃ¯Â¿Â½m even avoiding some friends who only knew me when I was thin. IÃ¯Â¿Â½ve always had a somewhat low self-esteem and my husband only knew me when I was thin. IÃ¯Â¿Â½m afraid that IÃ¯Â¿Â½ve let him down by becoming curvy again. Even though he says quote "Honey you were a bean poll, I didnÃ¯Â¿Â½t like to see you like that. But now that your curves are back I find you sexier than ever."
Humph tell that to my evil mirror. I donÃ¯Â¿Â½t know what to do. IÃ¯Â¿Â½ve never had a healthy body image and now itÃ¯Â¿Â½s affecting our love life. How can I fix this? I love my husband but I donÃ¯Â¿Â½t feel comfortable in my own skin again. Any suggestions?