God give me patience!!
Okee dokes. I'm new to this forum. I have been posting on the Step Family forum for a little while and stumbled onto this one. i just needed to put some words on paper to clear my head.
My husband and I have been going through the ringer with his Ex. It is a long sad and Jerry Springer like story. Read my post on the step family forum if youre interested in the details. Anyway, we have both been under loads of stress due to custody issues of his two girls who I love. Long story short, Biomom is a nut and its become too dangerous for the kids and a huge visitation case is fixing to insue.
My hands are really full with two little girls who aside from needing normal day to day care are EXTRA EXTRA clingy because of issues with mom. I work for the State and it is a pretty demanding job. I feel so tired. Dad has been helping all he can but as of right now he works two jobs so he is gone alot leaving me to deal with the majority of the house work and child rearing alone.
Dad was in a band for many many years and right now he works in a kitchen during the day and at a bar kitchen at night. There are days when he is up at 7 to help get the girlies out the door to the nanny, then to work till 5. Then to the second job at 7 and I dont see him again till 4 in the morning. He was in a band for so long I think a regular 9 to 5 job with any kindof rules or deadlines would make him crazy. He is very nomadic by nature. He did the band thing state to state for ten years. He has opened for folks like Kid Rock, Skynard, Wallon Jennings exc.exc. For a whole year his band was the opening act for Hank Williams Jr.'s kids band Hank III.
He wanted to be home more for his children and frankly he was partying way too much to be a parent. In the past year and a half he has really mellowed out. I know it hasn't been easy for him going from party boy to working parent. I still hate that he is gone alot. The girls and I both miss him. He always has to work weekends so we never get to make any plans for family trips or outings. I started crying when he went to leave tonight. He kept begging me not to cry saying" Hon I have GOT to go to work.....dont cry. I HAVE to go." I feel alone. The girls of course wanted to know what was wrong. I told them I missed daddy. The response was "were here with you". I had to smile.
I guess I really didnt need advice. I just needed to get my feelings out to someone. I cant talk to the girls and there is no one here to talk to. I feel sad and guilty for making him feel bad at the same time. I know he has come such a long way. We are just all going through so much with biomom and I am worried and sad for the girls and Im tired and it has just been a looong week in general.