really need advice

suntideApril 14, 2006


I really need some advice - I have been married for 32 yrs. in a marriage that there has been little if any sex. After we got married (we were both virgins) I realized we hadn't had actual sex after seeing dr. I went for dnc and dr. said get counseling. husband wouldn't so I left him. He eventually did go but didn't really help. then I found out he had a pituary tumor which was reason he didn't want sex. he has been getting teresterone shots ever since. doesn't help. I have had sexual urges off and on but other things going on in my life, so sex was not a major issue. Then came menopause and my libido has gone sky high. also have been involved in emotional affair in job which set my libido even higher. For 2 yrs., I have tried to help husband and me. I got counseling, he didn't really want to - keeps saying for me to wait - it will happen. Counseling didn't help. I would leave him but I have no relatives or friends I could go to and I can't afford a place of my own. Also, I am losing faith in my religion and I do have a friend (my only fd. at this point - she is single) who is not of my religion and I am worried that I am will go astray in my religion. I know menopause can screw your mind up, but I really could use some advice.

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"...married for 32 yrs..."

"...keeps saying for me to wait - it will happen..."

Not likely.

"...I am worried that I am will go astray in my religion."

This is very common as people grow and mature. The trouble with "faith" is it so often is contradicted by reality. Even faithful and devout people wrestle with such issues. Some grow closer. Some drop away. Its a very personal thing.

    Bookmark   April 15, 2006 at 7:13PM
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Asolo - Yeah, I know. It isn't likely to happen. I don't know what else to do - I am not the type to go out and deliberately cheat or anything. I will get through this. My husband is a good friend, 'though that doesn't help me much. I also realize things could be worse, there are things in life that are far worse. Maybe this is just the way it was supposed to be for me. As far as religion is concerned, I know that won't make Mr. Right come either. I'll probably just keep hoping. I will get through this - I was just curious if anybody else out there might have had a similar experience in life. Thank you for your response.

    Bookmark   April 17, 2006 at 6:07PM
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