Behind Every Great Man . . .

analytical1April 15, 2008

Hi Everyone!

I've lurked a lot on this forum and finally decided to pose a question:

How true do you find the statement "Behind every great man is a great woman" (however it goes)?

For the guys, do you find that your woman builds (has built) you up and plays a critical role in your personal success and the succes of your family? Or, do you feel like you've done everything for yourself and would be just fine (or better off) without her?

For the ladies, do you find that you have had to push and/or motivate your man in ways you did not expect (or maybe you did expect it). If he had been with you, do you think he'd be where he is in life?

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billy_c

Hello All,

I have been reading awhile, this is my first comment on this forum. When I saw the topic, I had to chime in.
I would not be half the man I am today without my wife. I say this at a time when we are dealing with work issues in regards to my job. Long story short, my employer told me to move into a title 7 years ago, raise included, I saw the title, and noted I did not qualify for the title. They said if you stay in the title for 7 years, you will qualify. Well 7 years is up, I applied to test for the title, and our Personnel Dept. told me that I don't qualify, AND never should have been put in this title in the first place. Now they are moving me out of my title (job duties, section, floor, everything) into a title I held 7 years ago. Alond with a $5,000 cut in pay. (sorry to ramble)
My wife has stood by me this entire time. We purchased a house 6 years ago (which now may be in jeopardy), and a pool last year. My Wifee has made me understand that what has happened was not my fault, and that I am not a failure (although I feel like a HUGE failure). My Wife has spent the last week and a half dealing with my problem, and treating it as "our" problem. My Wife provides me with the backbone that I need to fight this problem, everynight. My wife reinforces to me, my accomplishments. When my DOP section said that the last 7 years of work "did not count toward anything" my Wife was the one who listed my achievements to me, and made me understand that I DID make a difference.
I know this was very drawn out, my appologies. but it does fit the bill, behind this great man, is a Greater Woman.

    Bookmark   April 16, 2008 at 1:58PM
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demeron

Billy C, I am sorry to hear about your upsetting job situation. It really does sound like it's out of your control and your wife recognizes that. I hope you are able to find perspective by realizing this isn't your body, your kids, your marriage or anything else that can't be fixed. I'm glad you're blessed with such a staunch wife. I would bet you've been a good husband to her.

Interesting quote, sometimes true I guess. I'm sure it makes a difference. And in some cases, all the difference. (I seemt to remember hearing an old joke about Franklin Rooseveldt being nine tenths Eleanor. Lot worse things to be made 9/10s of, anyway.)

I think in my case, I provide the emotional security and perspective, or try to. I am sure I also provide the motive with my desire for children and expensive tastes :) I am not the Power Behind the Throne or anything distasteful like that, for sure.

    Bookmark   April 17, 2008 at 5:15PM
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billy_c

Thanks for the kind words and thoughts demeron.

You are 100% correct when you say, "you're blessed with such a staunch wife". Truer words have never been spoken.

I guess the timing of this topic was just perfect. It allowed me to express my thoughts and feelings for my wife, to any and all who would listen. It seemed like "analytical1" was asking me the question directly! (Thank you by the way)

I will say that I broke down a couple of times during this mess (we are still in the middle of it), and it was difficult breaking down in front of my wife. I felt that I should have been stronger. But she recognizes that I am a very sensitive person (M*A*S*H went off the air, and I cried) and she understood that I "needed to get it out!"

The emotional security and perspective that you talk about is so important. I am sure your marriage is a strong one, with open communication as well as faith in each other. I think that is huge, having faith in your partner.

Somewhere on these boards someone said "we are stronger as 1, then our 2 parts seperate" (or something like that). That is my wife and I. Both of us are very strong people, but together, our bond is stronger. I am blessed to have the wife that I have. She has made me a better person.

Billy_C

    Bookmark   April 18, 2008 at 9:29AM
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analytical1

Hey Billy C! I'm glad that my question was right on time for you. And, you do, indeed, have a wonderful wife. You are also a great man for acknowledging and embracing the role that she plays in your life.

I posed the question initially because a coworker and I had been discussing the topic. She told me that she had truly had to guide, help and build up her man throughout her marriage. It seems to make good sense to me as God created women to be helpmeets to our men. From some of what I hear and read, it seems that some women these days don't believe in that.

To each her own.

    Bookmark   April 18, 2008 at 10:13PM
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billy_c

Hi All,

Nice to see a topic like this gain a little fire!

Holly K...So glad things are working out so well for you guys. I believe you are right in your thinking, why not help a hand with something that you are better at? To me, it makes total sense. It does prove a point, the sum is greater then the parts seperate. (Again, not sure of the wording, I saw the quote yesterday, but forgot to copy it.)

My wife is providing more support then anything. Just having that reassurance has proved to be a great asset. She keeps me focused, and builds me up, as the "system" breaks me down.

I can relate to your side of it too though. Take our finances, my Wife handles everything, checks, banking, credit cards, everything. My friends ask me, "why don't you handle the money?", simple, I am not good at it. Or let me put it this way, not as good as she is with it! It makes sense for someone who knows what they are doing, to do it. Now, when my Wife needs help writing a resume, or creating an office memo, she turns to me. I can formulate my words better then she can on paper (or electronic). Not saying my Wife can't write, but I can do it better. We both understand our strengths, AND our weaknesses.

Analytical1, I think that is the important part going into a marriage, understanding that. Knowing that you guys are a team, and finding a partner that compliments you as well as you compliment them.

Billy C.

    Bookmark   April 22, 2008 at 2:13PM
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carla35

"The whole is greater than the sum of the parts"

aka: Synergy

    Bookmark   April 22, 2008 at 10:42PM
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billy_c

THAT'S IT!!!!

Thanks Carla.

BC

    Bookmark   April 23, 2008 at 9:39AM
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akangel76

I think it goes both ways I know that my hubby would not be where he is if it weren't for me giving a little reassurance and a boot to the butt every now and then. But then again I would not be where I am without him. He has to give me a boot also and reassurance when I need it. I think a marriage is a team with equal roles (most of the time). Either you work together towards happiness and goals or you don't.

    Bookmark   August 14, 2008 at 12:07AM
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