Whats a guy to do?
OK Im usually hanging over @ the tractor forum with the boys, but as a member of the Garden Web, I figure its about time that I take full advantage of the available resources Ive been reading many of the posts here a lot of good advice. Ive also noticed that there arent too many guys participating at least that I can identify. Perhaps I can contribute with a male point of view when its appropriate. Anyway, heres my story.
My wife and I have been married for almost 10 years my second, her first. We have 3 children 1, 5, & 8. She stays at home with the kids they are home-schooled. Im the breadwinner got a decent job thats stable. As far as I can see, there arent any serious negative outside influences that could be adversely affecting either of us. What I mean here is that we dont have serious what Ill call non-relationship issues such as money problems, bad neighbors, meddling family members, etc, etc. Things in general are quite good. Its a sound life amidst all of the turmoil in the world today. However, theres a problem in our marriage that seems to be getting worse and worse.
As a married couple, we of course share lives. We have shared both good and bad times including the dreaded skeletons in our closets. My first marriage was an absolute nightmare my wife knows most of the stories a lot of things Im not too proud of. Shes no saint either, but I think we all have issues from our past that were not too thrilled about. Anyway, heres the problem. When we get into an argument over something, (which is very rare) shell go into her bag of tricks and pull out something detrimental from my past or hit on some super-sensitive issue and throw it in my face. In other words, shell start pushing my buttons or digging into old wounds. I cant tell you how infuriated I become. Although I want to slap her, I dont openly go ballistic over it -- I dont want the kids to see me like that. I just shut up and withdraw to where I stop speaking and interacting with her. This happens about once every few months. We eventually get back on even keel, but the memory of the events and circumstances remain with me. Ive made attempts to tell her how I feel about what she is doing she listens and seems to understand my position. But without fail, when the time comes, its like shes a different person I feel she just wants to do nothing more than hurt me in the worst way and she has the ammo to do it! It happened again last week and Ive just about had it. I want to leave I just want to remove myself from the environment but I cant its the kids. I cant do that to them. Each one of these episodes moves me further and further away from her. Its gotten to the point where I feel Im falling out of love with her. My trust factor is at an all time low & Im finding it difficult to cope.
Whats a guy to do?