What priority is sex in your marriage?

vicki_IndianaApril 2, 2002

Sex is important to most couples but, to what extreme or in what priority do you place sex at in your marriage?

1. Most important!

2. Important, but not that big of a deal.

3. Kind of important but, not as important as the kids.

4. Not important at all compared to our lives together.

5. Not any big deal at all, can live without.

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lpolk

I'd say 2.
Married 2.5 years, in my 30s/DH in 40s.
(Time/age probably makes a difference, I expect it to wane.)

    Bookmark   April 2, 2002 at 3:06PM
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rotny

I'd say 2 also. I'm a guy so of course sex is important to me. But not so much as being healthy and fit. I imagine as my wife and I get older the frequency of sex will taper but taking care of ourselves SHOULD allow us many more years of one another's companionship.

    Bookmark   April 2, 2002 at 3:23PM
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waddles28

It would depend on who you ask in my relationship. I would definately say a 5 but I know if you ask my DH it would be a 1. So all that goes back to some of my previous posts. He is just now talking to me after last week when I wouldn't put out. His loss because now he didn't get it the rest of the week or the weekend because he wasn't talking to me.

    Bookmark   April 2, 2002 at 5:03PM
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Mausie

2... sometimes more, sometimes less, but usually 2.

    Bookmark   April 2, 2002 at 5:45PM
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vicki_Indiana

Wow Waddles, it sounds like you guys are having alot of fun at your house!! ( just teasin )

When you don't talk it makes the problems or fights your having alot worse.. Sorry to hear that your having a tiff..

    Bookmark   April 2, 2002 at 10:47PM
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waddles28

Oh he is finally getting over it. The only thing now that I have noticed is usually he is all over me, grabbing me and kissing me but he hasn't done that lately. Don't get me wrong I am not complaining. I think he is getting really stressed at work and is not feeling well and I have preached to him about bringing problems home so I don't think he really wants to talk about them now and he will when he is ready. The other thing is that we are trying to get plans together to build a house URGH and that alone can be stressful. Anyway things are starting to get back to normal whatever that means. Thanks for the concern.

    Bookmark   April 3, 2002 at 9:52AM
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akaDenise

It's a 2 for us also. We're not newlyweds so it hasn't been a 1 for many years. But if we stopped, we'd sure miss it.

    Bookmark   April 3, 2002 at 10:10AM
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vicki_Indiana

We have been married for quite some time.. Actually going on 27 years this Aug and it's been every number on there for us at one time or another.. ha.ha.!! I think now, we are finally at a stage where it is a 1 or 2 right now because, we have the time to make it that now that the kids are getting older, and we are "finally" having some fun in our lives.. ha.ha. !! It's weird how that works.. LoL

    Bookmark   April 3, 2002 at 12:59PM
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cheryl_down_under

I think it is a No 2 for us as well. We have been married 20 years and whilst sex is an important part of our married life - I would hate to be without it - it certainly isn't the be all and end all of our relationship. The frequently does wane as you get older, but I do have to agree wholeheartedly with Vicki that as the kids are getting older, this allows more time for ourselves and that certainly helps to bring the intimacy back into our lives together.

    Bookmark   April 3, 2002 at 5:35PM
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bill_h

no. 2 for us.

    Bookmark   April 4, 2002 at 5:39AM
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ruthanna_gw

I guess we're in the minority because I'd say#4. Over the years, we are finding more things in common that we enjoy and I think we'd rather go fishing.

    Bookmark   April 4, 2002 at 7:11AM
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vicki_Indiana

ROTFL.. Ruthanna!! Hey, there is nothing "wrong" with liking to fish better. BUT... Isn't fishing and making love the same thing? You bait, throw it out there, then sit and wait for the excitment to begin?? Ha.ha.!!! ( just a teaser of course) LOL..

    Bookmark   April 4, 2002 at 10:09PM
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tracymomof4

Sex is the main reason for most of our problems in our marriage for me it is #1 for hubby it is probably more like an 8 but your list only went to 5 LOL. He is NEVER in the mood and im always in the mood (im only 37 and a woman is said to hit her sexual peak at 40 a man at 18 and people wonder why women like younger men LOL) we have only been married for just over a year and have maybe had sex 15 times he had to have major back surgery right after we got married and he has not been in the mood since :( i keep begging him to ask about vigara but hes embrassed so he rather make me miserable instead.

    Bookmark   April 8, 2002 at 6:30AM
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bill_h

where were all those 37 yr olds when i was 18?

    Bookmark   April 20, 2002 at 12:56AM
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vicki_Indiana

Ha..ha.. Well, bill.. I doubt that you were looking for 37 yr olds when you were 18... LOL

    Bookmark   April 20, 2002 at 1:09AM
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HelenofMich

We're both in our early 50's and been married 22 yrs and it's probably a 2 for both of us and I'd say we both are still quite attracted to each other, in fact for us, that's probably what kept us together thru the bad times( of REALLY getting to know each other). It's the 2nd marriage for both of us. We had kids with the first marriage and decided none together.(Which is good, cause the first 1/2 of our marriage WAS rocky and I would have left him if I'd of had babies that would be exposed to that degree of fighting and tension). And yes, the frequency does wane some, but the enjoyment is still as good as in my 30's. FOR TRACYMOMOF4: I'd be concerned. Is he still affectionate? Hug and kiss some, snuggle at night? Could it be he's afraid of back trouble? Or with some guys, a few times with erection problems sets a pattern psychologically. You can buy viagra on the internet &/or you could ask the doctor if it would be safe for him. It's only rarely that someone can't use it. For you,37 is way too young to be cut down to 1/mo. Was he more arousable and interested prior to surgery? Or could this be the way he always has been? Too, some guys sneak porn(magazines or XXX motels) to have a safe outlet(a hand job)when they don't have a woman, and find they go back to it in trying times and sometimes even prefer it because of the sneaking and naughtiness to it. Is he on blood pressure meds? That'll do it, too or drink too much or low testosterone levels. Good luck, Trac and post if you're interested in persuing the possibilities.

    Bookmark   April 20, 2002 at 8:05PM
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Scotty1

#1 for sure. By the way, what's sex? I forgot...

    Bookmark   May 30, 2002 at 6:51PM
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Kevin_S

Very important.....but not more important than the kids.

    Bookmark   June 1, 2002 at 7:19AM
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asturnut

What sex?

(Been married 3 years- 26 years old- 2 year old child.)

    Bookmark   June 4, 2002 at 10:29AM
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LianneNJ

depends upon how long it's been since the last time ;o*
my first, his second, no kids heh heh

    Bookmark   June 6, 2002 at 11:09AM
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eileen_launonen

Id say a #5 during the week and #1 on weekends...hey what can I say weekdays the schedules exhausting by the time the day winds down the only thing we do in bed is snore lol

    Bookmark   June 6, 2002 at 9:08PM
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