The love of my life is getting married! HELP!
I know this title may throw a lot of you off, but before judgement is cast, please read about the situation. Once you've done so, please post a comment to give me much needed advice.
6 years ago, I met the most wonderful man I've ever known and immediately fell in love with him. For 2 years, our friendship grew into something deep and meaningful. Although we were close, we used to argue constantly over minor issues. I believe the arguments stemmed from us not saying how we really felt towards one another. It was apparent to everyone else, including ourselves that we had feelings for each other, but we never confirmed this to each other. Neither one of us wanted to take that step because we both worked together and we all know how that can end up. During the two year time frame, he and I never had sex, never kissed. We never sealed our bond with sexual intimacy. Well, I was planning to leave the company, and the worst happened. We got into a terrible fight and he told me to never speak to him again. Needless to say, I was crushed. The argument wasn't that serious for us to end our friendship over. However, I understood. We were always fighting and it became stressfull to remain friends. Well, 4 years passed and he held true to his word. He never spoke to me again. Well, a couple of months ago, I found out that he was recently engaged. So as a friend, I contacted him to extend congratulations. To my surprise, he responded to me. The next day, he contacted me and asked me when I was getting married. Since I am not in a relationship, I thought this was weird, so I called him. We ended up talking on the phone for about a good hour. I told him I didn't have plans to marry at this time because my focus was elsewhere and I also wasn't in a relationship. His response to me was that he always thought I'd make a wonderful wife and mother because I am very nurturing and caring. Then he suggested that we should meet to catch up. Being that we just did that on the phone, I was taken back, but reluctantly said ok. Well, we met recently and the night progressed into something we didn't plan. We met up for dinner, had drinks, and discussed the issues we had. I explained why I fought with him so much. I told him that I was in love with him then and I was still in love with him. He confirmed that he felt the same way. As far as what he feels now, that still remains the mystery. His response to me when I said that was, her father would kill me. Then he stated that he wasn't getting any younger and that he wanted to have children. Not that he loved his fiancand he is going to marry her. He then asked me if I was dating anyone and I said yes, but it isn't serious and he isn't the one for me. He asked why and I said because he's not you. As I was telling him about the guy I'm seeing, he cut me off and told me that he didn't want to me to talk about him anymore. During this time, he's playing with my hands and looking at me deeply into my eyes. When we left the diner, we sat outside on a bench because we weren't ready to drive. He then leaned over to me and kissed me passionately. Needless to say, we ended up back at his house and things got extremely hot and heavy. Though it was something I really wanted, my conscience kicked in and I ended up stopping it shy of us having intercourse (no oral sex either). He said to me then, if this is something you are going to regret in the morning, I would rather you not do it. I agreed and laid down on the couch with him. He kissed my forehead and started playing in my hair and rubbing my back. We both ended up falling asleep. I got up went home after that. That night, it was a though we never got into a fight. Things picked up right where we left off. Now, I am confused. The wedding is in October.