Need help after wife's infidelity
I know there are lots of posts and advice posted regarding how to cop when your spouse cheats on you, but I would like to get advice on specific situation regarding me.
I actually do not know how to start but here it goes and will try to keep it to the point . we started dating in march 2005 and were really happy until I decided to go to University about 4 hours away to get higher education in 2009. We argues many times and seem like long distance was hurting this relationship. I came to see her every month as I was really busy with my projects. December 2009, I met some of her friends and we celebrated new years together. I noticed a strange change in her behavior in January and I asked what was wrong. After asking 100 times, she told me that she has made a mistake of sleeping with one the guy friends and she has feelings for him. I felt devastated and did not know what do for few months. We still talked even though she told me that this would not work out. After few months I came back and decided to give it one more chance as I still had feelings for her. We started again and felt like we were doing even better .. after a year in 2011 I decided that I want to spend rest of my life with her and she said and we got married. within 2 years of marriage we had difference of opinion and argued multiple times and i though it was fine. I did everything I could to make her happy. I sacrificed many times just so she does not much stress or she can do things she wants to do (e.g. travel, parties) , I am saying this from emotional support as well as financial point of view. A month ago, my friend who spends times with us told me that you and your wife need to talk about sometimes. I was confused and asked my wife directly to see what is going on. It turns out she slept wit her manager at work after 1 year of her cheating with the guy before. Again, I had to ask her 100 times to get the truth out of her. she had feelings for the second guy and slept 4 times before marriage and 3 times after. she kept crying and told me she is extremely sorry and she knows she has messed up really big and she wanted to stop everything tell me. I feel so much pain that it is not even pain anymore and she said she stopped in february of last year. I messaged the guys gf of now and she says she knows about it and she told me that the guy contacted my wife in nov 2012 and she talked really dirty and send him pic of her naked body. I was on a work trip during this week. she says nothing happen. I felt so angry that I slapped her. I realized that I should not have done that and I not an abusive person. After all this she still wants to work on this marriage and I do not know what to do. Yes, I do hold myself responsible for certain things as I got too busy with my career but still managed to spend time with her. she did talked to one of her friend who runs a dating company and she talked to me as well on what can be done. We both are from a really family oriented background and it would hurt both of families very much as they are involved so much in each other's lives. on the positive side, we do not have any children (thank god)
I know I prob have confused most of you but typing this was very painful. I have told her that you have broken the trust ones again and if there was still a chance to get back together it would take long time for me to get over this.