shame/guilt and control?
My group therapy group and the facilitating counselor have recently put forth the theory that I have issues w/shame (stemming from my mother) and my DH, intentionally or unintentionally, uses that to guilt and control me. This comes as a complete shock b/c I don't think he is controlling; they say it is usually hard for the controllee to recognize s/he is being controlled.
I'm worried that maybe I just didn't present a fair enough version of what is going on. I do tend to feel guilty about a lot of things that I do or don't do, but I'm not even sure how to explore the shame issue. As for control, DH doesn't fit the "typical" profile as far as I can tell, and my group isn't in this situation, so how do I begin to explore this issue while being fair and unbiased? I have always seen DH as a good, fair, honest, trustworthy, dedicated etc. person, not a controller. This could really change my perspective if it's true.