Examples of mental/psychological abuse

bowdoin514911April 28, 2010

Hi all,

Would like to see various types of mental, psychological, emotional abuse from anyone who cares to respond. I have been a DV violence victim before, but was wondering how far will some people "go", to make other peoples' lives miserable. I've done lots of self-educating online, and I know what I have and am still going through, but would like to hear from others. Your opinions and stories will be very helpful to me. Thank you.

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silversword

bump

    Bookmark   April 28, 2010 at 10:29AM
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scarlett2001

Are you writing a paper? Taking a survey? Why do you want this?

    Bookmark   April 29, 2010 at 12:47AM
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bowdoin514911

I am not writing a paper or taking a survey. Just wondering how far one would go as far as playing mind games with their signifigant other. I am going through some stuff that I believe would be classified as mental or emotional abuse. Don't need any names or identifying names, as I know all too much about the confidentiality issues. Thanks.

    Bookmark   April 29, 2010 at 1:27PM
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asolo

"...was wondering how far will some people "go", to make other peoples' lives miserable."

"....wondering how far one would go as far as playing mind games with their signifigant other."

Who do you think would describe themselves as having such despicable/monstrous traits? Really bizarre post!

    Bookmark   April 29, 2010 at 2:42PM
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finedreams

sounds pretty sick to me..."describe types of violence and abuse?" why? do you enjoy reading this kind of stuff?

    Bookmark   April 29, 2010 at 6:27PM
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sweeby

"I am going through some stuff that I believe would be classified as mental or emotional abuse."

If you think it may be abuse, then I think you are right.
Emotional abusers tear down their victims bit by bit, so they begin to doubt their judgement and perceptions.
So if you think he's been abusing you, but aren't 100% sure, that would be exactly how a typical abuse victim feels.

It can be anything along the lines of insults, name-calling, controlling behavior, pouting, sulking, intimidating or manipulating to get his way, constant nit-picky criticism, contemptuous or disgusted looks, the silent treatment. Emotional abuse also covers waking you up in the middle of the night or other means of deliberate sleep deprivation, gas-lighting you by insisting that what you remember wasn't correct, separating you from your riends or family using any number of tactics. Calling you worthless, unlovable, too fat, un-sexy, unattractive, unintelligent, incompetent... There's more, I'm sure. But you can find all that any number of places.

If you want to share your story here, I'm sure others will be happy to chime in with their opinions of whether or not it's abuse...

    Bookmark   April 29, 2010 at 7:56PM
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asolo

"If you think it may be abuse, then I think you are right."

"So if you think he's been abusing you, but aren't 100% sure, that would be exactly how a typical abuse victim feels."

With respect.....I've personally been in the orbit of far too many women who said stuff like this. For most, I had no way to discern but several others were known to me to be self-focused nut-cases. Impossible for me to accept such stuff as-stated without something to back it up other than how the promulgators say they "think" or "feel". Too flakey for me.

Combined with this particular OP, forget it.

    Bookmark   April 29, 2010 at 10:48PM
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sweeby

I hear you Asolo --

But some of the most damaging types of abuse are pretty hard to pin down.
My Ex was emotionally abusive, and one of his favorite tactics was to look at me with withering contempt and disgust whenever I'd done something that displeased him -- you know, important things like let him run out of clean socks...

This is the kind of treatment that's genuinely very hurtful, but easy for someone else to dismiss with an incredulous "You mean he looked at you funny?"

OP may or may not be a flake.
But that's why I say that if you suspect you're being abused, you probably are.

If you're furiously positive you're being emotionally abused and are angrily venting hither and yon about how unfairly you're being treated and how inconsiderate your 'abusers' are -- I'd be more inclined to suspect that 'victim' of an inflated sense of entitlement.

    Bookmark   April 30, 2010 at 3:34PM
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asolo

I think were pretty much on the same page, then. Like most, I, too, am imprisoned by my own experience and observations...due respect to reading and study. Guess I see "abuse" as being pretty strong and over-used....often, in my experience, by people who had a lot more going on with themselves than something coming from the outside. Pretty common to blame someone else for one's own shortcomings. What I've seen too frequently is people who "suspect" they're being abused usually aren't. I've become wary because of it.

In the case of this OP, I don't know what she's talking about. Strange way of asking. Don't know where she wants to go with it.

    Bookmark   April 30, 2010 at 4:30PM
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setancre

OP recently started a thread on the Household Finances forum that may help you put the pieces together.

Here is a link that might be useful: Household Finances topic link

    Bookmark   May 1, 2010 at 5:51AM
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asolo

Not going to chase around seeking any "pieces" to be put together. If she wants a meaningful response, she can write an intelligible post.

    Bookmark   May 1, 2010 at 10:31AM
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Tara231

I think sweeby's responses are spot on. Whether or not anyone here agrees about 'abuse', If you don't like the way someone is treating you, tell them so, and from the get-go!

Always, trust your GUT. That's your psychological/ emotional compass that steers you in the right direction away from potential harm.

    Bookmark   February 15, 2013 at 9:47PM
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